All you have done for the last week is bemoan your lot. Oh I'm so poorly. You are pathetic John. You really are. Oh I can't take the dog for a walk. It's raining. It might make my man flu worse. I might get wet.
You are wet! You pathetic wimp! It isn't man flu. Man flu doesn't exist. You have got a slight cold! Get over it.
All I could manage was a couple of spoonfuls of chicken soup. I have lost so much weight this week because of this terrible flu. You bloody liar Bain! What about that roast dinner you had on Sunday? What about that steak you had on Saturday. You were strong enough to eat that! You haven't lost weight, you have put weight on, you fat lardy layabout.
You wretched excuse for a man! Get out there and do some work instead of feeling sorry for yourself. Just thank God you don't have a real illness to contend with you big girls blouse. Get up now before I give your arse a bloody good kicking!
Oh hi everyone. Sorry about that. I was just giving myself a good talking to.
Yes, I know that speech. I've been doing it with slightly different words. Hey... we all get sick occasionally. Just be patient. Maybe you should read a book or something instead of talking to yourself, though.
ReplyDeleteIt's the rhino virus that snorted the world, John. Runs two weeks. I can venture outdoors now without the birds chirping "eeewwwyuck". Give yourself time!
ReplyDeleteMethinks you would have been okay with a bit of sympathy! Don't worry, tomorrow is another day.
ReplyDeleteOh John I hope you feel better soon. I like how you talk to yourself. B
ReplyDeleteHa ha ! Brilliant, couldnt have put it better myself. I would love to see you kicking your own arse. Film it and put it on youtube. I could do with a laugh.
ReplyDeleteI had to give in and go to Docs this week as the virus/cold (what ever it is), had a bad effect on my asthma. I am on steroids now so I will be buzzing for a few days. I had better make the most of it maybe do a bit of boring housework.
You make me laugh at the things you call yourself. I'm laughing with you, not at you :-) I'll have to remember "big girls blouse" to call hubby sometime when he's whining.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you are feeling better. I have been sick like that. At first you are afraid you are going to die. Then you are afraid you will not die. Then you become sick of being sick. That means you are on the road to recovery. I am happy to hear it.
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ReplyDeleteSound kind of like the talk I give myself sometimes. I hope it works better for you than it does for me.
ReplyDeleteYes, a good talking to is needed sometimes! I found myself doing or giving the same talk two weeks ago when I had bronchitis!
ReplyDelete*laughing* I so enjoy the big girl's blouse remark. And I'm rather impressed at the 'talking to'. I do that myself--usually cuz I sooooooooooo need my arse kicked a good one!
ReplyDeletek......fine.....FINE.......
Lemme try compassion......
Errrr.....ummmmmm.....I do hope you feel better soon, sir. And really--with the viral stuff that's floating around now-a-days, be a bit kinder to you--give yourself time to heal.
(Steak AND roast dinners?!......Sheeeeeshhh...ya whiner!!)
Well giving yourself a good talking to hey, well some one had to. Carrying on like a real powder puff. Take some concrete pills man, and harden up! Hope you're feeling your old self again soon even though you probably prefer to be feeling someone else. Oh dear, did I say that?
ReplyDeleteStart moving around and working on chores that make you sweat. A little bit at a time. It took me 3 days to cut my grass in the back garden, but at least it's done.
ReplyDeleteI hope you feel much better soon.