Tuesday, 30 December 2014

An Early Night.

Do you know what time it is? I’ll tell you. It’s 2:36 in the morning. I woke up at about 12:30 and since then I have been lying in bed thinking stuff. My mind is swirling around like a whirlpool. Flitting about from one thought to another like a ... er ... like a ... I said whirlpool didn’t I? Do whirlpools flit? They whirl don’t they? I’ll tell you what happened.

I went to bed early about 8:30 because I was sitting in front of the fire feeling nice and cosy and I was having a glass of whisky and dozing off. That thing happened to me. That thing where you suddenly jump. Do you know what I mean? Like you are just about to fall asleep and you suddenly jerk awake? That thing. It can be quite startling. Yes startled awake that’s it. Well, that’s what happened and I nearly spilt the glass of whisky I was holding so I went to bed.

I read my book for a bit. Not my book I didn’t write it. A bloke called Robin Cook wrote it. I called it my book because I own it, that’s what I meant. But that’s not true actually. I don’t own it. I borrowed it from Tricia. She has got loads of books. So anyway I read the book – it’s title is Chromosome 6 by the way – for about an hour and then I go to sleep.

Later on I wake up and I hear a train passing – I live near a railway track – so I think to myself, oh good I think, it is morning. But it is not. When I look at my phone to see what the time is, it is only half past 12. I have only been asleep for about three hours!

So I have spent the last two hours or so lying here, trying to get back to sleep but can’t and my mind is swirling around like a whirlpool. So I set this little laptop computer up and here I am sitting up in bed writing this. It’s a bit cold but I have got my dressing gown on so not too bad really.

I like writing. I like reading too. If you asked me what I liked best writing or reading? It would be quite close but I would choose writing. More creative isn’t it? I mean you don’t need to be creative to read a book do you? So it’s no contest as far as I’m concerned. Definitely writing.

It is 3:16 now. Do you want to hear about the bloke I met outside the local shop yesterday? I shall tell you anyway. Let’s see if I can make it worth reading about

Yeah, I saw him outside the co-op. He was scratching one of them lottery scratchcards. By the time I got near him he was about to throw it in the bin. He looked up and saw me, “Waste of bloody money,” he says.

“Better luck next time eh,” I said.

He gives the scratchcard another look just to make sure he isn’t making a terrible mistake and throwing away a fortune. “ Nah,” he says with a grimace, “nothing. Oh well.” Then he looks at me again and I see a dawning recognition. “How you doing?” he asks, “ain’t seen you about for a while.”

I tell him I’m doing fine thanks and I go into the shop. When I come out again he is still standing there. He gives me a smile, “ere mate,” he says, “I don’t suppose you could lend me a quid could you? Please mate.”
I reach into my trouser pocket, locate a pound coin and hand it to him without saying anything. My silence and the look I give him is intended to show him I disapprove of his begging.

“Cheers mate,” he says, “ I’ll give it back to you next time I see you.” And with that he disappears into the shop.

He won’t give me the money back next time he sees me, he never does!
It is now 04:02. I think I shall try and get a bit of shuteye. Good night, or should that be good morning?

Monday, 29 December 2014

Give Me The Simple Life.

Dunno why they call this a simple life. It ain’t when it’s this cold. Even me toothpaste was frozen this morning. Had to brush me teeth wiv Lurpak Spreadable and rinse with some dregs of anti-freeze what was left in me ‘ot water bottle! Didn’t spit of course. Waste not, want not. That’s the philosophy I live by, always have always will, ‘cept when I don’t!

Was going to ‘ave a fried egg for me breakfast but the egg was, yeah you guessed it, frozen!  I stuck an old ‘andle on it, ‘ad it as an ice lolly instead!

Me water pipe, me only concession to luxury living is frozen solid too. ‘Ad to forego me usual cold shower this morning. Improvised rather cleverly I thought,  though I do say so meself, by rolling around naked on the frosty grass. No sign of me genitalia after that little escapade but I don’t tend to ‘ave much use for them in the winter, or ever come to that. Not since I was forced to give up sex when I got old and became unattractive through no fault of me own, to the opposite sex. Or let’s be ‘onest the same sex too! Well, yes there was a short period of readjustment when the unattractiveness first kicked in when I was ready to give anything a go!

Anyway being ‘as how it is colder indoors than it is outdoors I am going outside for a bit of a warm-up. See you later. Don’t forget, keep it simple!

Wednesday, 24 December 2014

Best Wishes For Christmas And A Happy New Year.

My extremely handsome son George, Mia the German Shepherd and yes, I'm afraid that is what I look like when dressed for the cold weather!

Thank you for sticking with my blog despite my tardiness with it this past year. I hope you have a loving and peaceful time this Christmas and that the New Year brings you much joy.

With love from John and everyone at 'the hub'.

Sunday, 21 December 2014

Mixed Veg!

Today I had my dinner -mince and tatties with veg- at breakfast time and I intend to have my breakfast - don't know what yet- at dinner time. Lunch time is causing me a bit of a quandary. I suppose it will have to stay there in the middle. If I had supper I could change it til supper time but I never eat supper.

I like my vegetables properly cooked, especially brussel sprouts, by that I mean soggily soft. I can't see the point of eating them when they are still hard. To me that is more like a salad.

I read somewhere recently that you should not peel potatoes because all the goodness is in the skins. Tried it. Bloody awful! Spoilt a good meal! Don't believe everything you read that's all I'm saying.

I always par boil potatoes, then give them a good shake up over the heat before roasting. Makes them nice and crispy on the outside and soft in the middle. I do the same with chips, 'cept I then fry them in the wok. Lovely!

Me and potatoes, a match made in heaven as far as I'm concerned. Yes I know the start of this sentence starts with an object instead of a pronoun but I don't care because I don't know what it actually means. Although I would like to thank the Grammarly app for the information I will not always be making use of the information it supplies.

Right, what's the time? Nearly three o'clock. I'm off for my elevenses. Laters.

Sunday, 14 December 2014


I have just been outside chopping wood for the fire. Cut up a fair amount of kindling too. I need lots of small pieces to get this old range of mine up to heat. The kindling takes a while to get enough and after a while it gets quite boring and I seem to go into a kind of automaton mode. Sounds a bit dangerous I know but really it’s not. At least not yet, because I haven’t cut any digits off.

It’s when I’m chopping away in this automaton state that my mind wanders off. All sorts of things are idly sought  out, thought over for a short time, dismissed and off my mind wanders again until it hits on something worth lingering over. Usually, what with me being a man it stops and investigates when something sexual comes to the fore – did you know that men think about sex every fifteen minutes? This is nonsense of course. It is much more frequent than that.

Let me get back to where I was about my mind wandering. Today it stopped and decided to spend a while thinking about freedom. After a while tossing thoughts here, there and everywhere it decided finally that freedom does not exist.

It. My wandering mind that is decided that freedom is an illusion. Oh, certainly you can escape from many situations, prison, marriage, the nine to five grind to name a few examples. But the truth is you cannot escape from the fact that you exist.

Existence, the fact that you are alive, is a prison. There is no escape. There is no freedom. Not even death because what is after death we cannot know and no one can tell us.

There were other thoughts associated with the illusion of freedom, things like responsibility, the need for a passport when travelling, where you can and cannot go, things like that but luckily, at this point my mind decided there was enough kindling chopped for today and I came indoors and wrote this.