This afternoon at the supermarket I finally took courage and bought what is described as a bag for life. This was a momentous thing for me to do because apart from the horrendous and terrifying expense - it cost ten pence - I have deep concerns about what a bag for life actually means. Does it mean the bags life? Or is it my life it refers too?
If it's a bag for my life, then I think I should be a bit worried, because having examined my bag for life, I have to say I am not impressed with it's potential for longevity. Some of the stitching looks very suspect and one of the handles looks about ready to take its leave. So if this is a bag for my life, then I suppose I ought to be getting my affairs in order, because I could be gone at any moment.
Why did I allow myself to be browbeaten into buying this bag? I suppose it was because the free plastic carrier bags I usually make do with are just not fit for purpose. Maybe not, but at least they didn't come with the potential to take my life whenever the handles broke off.
Maybe I should get a needle and thread and strengthen the stitching? That way, I can extend the bags life, and in so doing, extend my own. If you think about it, it would be like having an operation to keep me alive.
Well I think that's what I shall do to put my mind at rest. Also just to be doubly safe I shall put the bag away in a drawer. I shall lock the drawer and throw the key into the river. That way my bag for life will last forever. And so will I!
Oh hang on! How long before the fabric of my bag degrades? Now I have to put my mind to preventing that happening. I could seal the bag in an airtight bag before putting it in the drawer I suppose? I wonder how long the airtight bag will last?
I tell you something. It's a good job I'm not one for worrying about things unnecessarily!