Sunday, 31 August 2014

If At First You Don't Succeed.

Apart from the plants to be added my Extremely Handsome Son George completed his dew pond project and very nice it looked too. Couldn't have looked nicer in my opinion. All that hard work looked to have paid off handsomely.
Finished pond ready for plants.
And then it happened. Disaster! It slowly began to lose water. Disaster might be too strong a word. To my mind EHS George did succeed in making a dew pond. Sadly though it would only hold water to a certain depth. As dew ponds go that it all that is required, but  this was also to be a wildlife pond and the water needs to overspill the margins to create a marshy area for wildlife.

And so a pond liner was required. And to install a liner all the water had to be removed. That is a lot of water! But not too worry, I have just the thing to do that; a water pump that runs off my Lister D engine. Should empty it in no time at all.

But seventy year old water pumps cannot be relied upon, and sadly this one refused to work. Oh well, nothing for it but to get in there with a bucket and scoop all the water out by hand. What a job! Doesn't half do your stomach muscles in. I soon gave up, but not EHS George, he is made of much stronger stuff.

 After several attempts at scooping and chucking it over the sides only for most of it to run back in, we came up with a novel use for a ladder, a traffic cone, and a length of plastic guttering. Resourceful lot us Bain boys.

Empty at last.

EHS George then took the opportunity to dig out a few ledges at various depths for plants. After a bit more working of the clay he then had the perfect smooth pond sides to install the liner.

And there you have it. A wildlife pond, with a liner guaranteed for forty years. All that is needed now is for soil to be added around the margin and some plants and it will look beautiful. In forty years time I shall be 107 years old. I shall check the liner when I'm 106 years old and if there is one little defect in that liner I shall ask for my money back!

EHS George is back to Uni in Liverpool soon. I am sure going to miss him.

Saturday, 16 August 2014


I like potatoes. You can do many things with 'em. You can boil 'em, fry 'em, bake 'em, roast 'em, mash 'em, saute 'em, (whatever that is?) You can grate 'em, chip 'em, and you can make hash browns with 'em. And bubble 'n' squeak 'em. You can make 'em into crisps too if you like.

Before we had potatoes in England, people used to eat parsnips a lot. Parsnips are all right, but there isn't the versatility, and they are an awkward shape.

I had potatoes this evening. First I boiled 'em, then I mashed 'em. There is some left over. I might have 'em fried for breakfast, with an egg, or I might eat 'em later tonight in a sandwich. You can make potato sandwiches. Did you know that? Delicious. Ever had a crisp sandwich? Give it a try. Lovely. Chip butty. Mmmm.

Sorry about the over use of  the word 'em. Probably would have been quicker to spell the whole word, what with having to stick the apostrophe in each time. Oh well, it's done now.

Yeah I like potatoes. Cheap, nutritional, versatile and filling. Whoever invented potatoes should get a medal. Bloody genius! Well done.

Thank you.

Monday, 11 August 2014

Post Deleted

For the first time ever I have deleted a blog post. The one I wrote this morning. The one titled 'That's Not Like Me At All'. I was talking about my aches and pains. Who wants to read about that? I deleted it because it really wasn't like me at all. I was having a real old whinge. Funny thing is, after I wrote it I straight away cheered up, and went back to my usual cheerful self.

Sunday, 10 August 2014

Some Changes Afoot.

Normally I always put my right boot on first, but just now, prior to a short walk, I thought 'sod it' and put my left boot on first.

The weird thing is, that I always take my left boot off first. Not today though. Oh no, today it shall be the right boot.

What arm do you put into the sleeve first when you get dressed? Normally I do the right arm. Tomorrow I might do the left arm first.

What side of the road do you drive on? Normally I drive on the.. hang on.. normally the.. I suppose it depends what way I'm facing, and maybe whether I'm going forward or backwards. Might be a bit unwise to change which side of the road. Yeah, I shan't change that. No.

But I shall be making some changes, that's for sure. Anyway, best foot forward as they say. Normally that would be my right foot...

Thursday, 7 August 2014

Me Ignoramus!

I just had a birthday. Blimey that sounds odd! Sounds like I just gave birth! No I mean it was my birthday recently. I have now been in existence for sixty seven years. Sounds like a lifetime doesn't it? Well I s'pose it is. My life time. Although not quite. Not yet. Hopefully there might be a few years left. Then again I haven't felt too good these last few days. Oh well.

My Extremely Handsome Son George is still working on his dew pond project.

Sixty seven and I know nothing at all. I was having a debate with my extremely handsome son George yesterday as we watched a wasp drink from the side of his dew pond. I told him that insects were not animals, "insects ain't animals," I said to him."insects is insects."

EHS George was astonished. "Of course insects are animals," he said laughing, "you are joking Dad, aren't you?"

"No George," I says, "insects are not animals. Insects are insects."

"You're not serious Dad?"

"Yes I am son. Insects are insects, birds are birds, fish are fish. They are not animals. Only animals are animals."

"Unbelievable!" By now EHS George was looking at me a bit funny, so I left the conversation there and went and had a look on Google.

Can somebody please explain to me how I have reached the age of sixty seven without knowing that insects, birds, and fish are animals? Seriously, I didn't know that! How has this happened? I have had a lifelong interest in wild life and I didn't know! I must be as thick as two short planks? I didn't know that insects, birds, and fish are animals!

Did you know? Of course you did. You're not stupid like me.

I told EHS George. I said to him, "Insects are animals son. You are right."

"Yes," he said, "I know I am."

Monday, 4 August 2014

Time Warp.

Last night... No I tell a lie... It was the night before last. I spoke to my friend Paul in New Zealand. Spoke via Skype. Spoke face to face. Didn't cost a penny. Amazing! How can that be? Everything costs these days. Nothing is for nothing, is it?

Anyway that's beside the point. The thing is I spoke to Paul via my computer web cam, and he is in New Zealand and I am in England. I have to say it again... Amazing!

But the amazing bit doesn't end there. Oh no. I was talking to Paul at nine o'clock Friday night. When I asked Paul what time it was in New Zealand, he said it's eight o'clock on Saturday morning! So Paul was actually talking to me from a time and a day that didn't even exist! We were in some kind of time warp! I tell you what. It does my 'ed in, and that's a fact.

I still can't get my head around it, and I like to think of myself as reasonably intelligent.

It is difficult enough for me to understand how my picture gets down that thin wire from the web cam into the computer, let alone anything else.

Just imagine how it would be if someone who died fifty years ago could come back. What would they make of it all? People who died fifty years ago can't come back though, can they? Can they? No! Don't tell me... No!

Saturday, 2 August 2014

Extremely Handsome Son George Digs A Dew Pond.

I shall tell you what a dew pond is, just in case you don't know. A dew pond is a rather large depression dug out of the ground which magically fills with water, in places where there is no natural source. What it does is, it collects dew and fog and if it is high enough up a hill it even collects clouds.

The usual place to find a dew pond is high up a hill near to the coast where there is lots of morning dew, but there are dew ponds on lower ground too. Dew ponds, according to the articles my Extremely Handsome Son George and I have been reading, also work in areas where there are plenty of trees providing a sheltered spot.

I could go on a bit about dew ponds and their magical ability to collect water where there is apparently none, but if you are interested in knowing more, you could read about them on the world wide web where knowledgeable persons expound knowledgeably on the subject.
Starting Off.
Anyway, Extremely Handsome Son George has decided to make a dew pond, and when he decides to do something he does it with great enthusiasm. The following pictures show about eight days work so far. I am astonished! All dug by hand, all by himself. I am not allowed to help. Not that I'm complaining. I estimate he has dug out twenty or thirty tons of clay and soil.

I did offer to hire in an excavator, but he was having none of it! This pleased me because I can't afford to go hiring excavators, but don't tell him that.

We don't actually need to be collecting dew. EHS George is making this one to provide a home for wildlife, specifically frogs and toads, whose habitats are disappearing around here at a rather alarming rate of knots, due to the greed of land grabbing developers and the need to house all the immigrants we welcome in such vast numbers to our small island. Hang on though! Maybe we will need to collect water? But I won't go into that. This is a happy blog post.
Mum comes to have a look.
The photo's showing EHS George's remarkable work are not necessarily in the correct order, but if I try to sort them out I shall probably lose the lot.

He still has a bit to go before the project is finished. I shall keep you updated on this.

I really hope after all the hard work that this dew pond works. However if it doesn't we can always put a liner in. It will work though.

 Mia the German Shepherd loves having George home for the summer.