Tuesday, 30 December 2014

An Early Night.

Do you know what time it is? I’ll tell you. It’s 2:36 in the morning. I woke up at about 12:30 and since then I have been lying in bed thinking stuff. My mind is swirling around like a whirlpool. Flitting about from one thought to another like a ... er ... like a ... I said whirlpool didn’t I? Do whirlpools flit? They whirl don’t they? I’ll tell you what happened.

I went to bed early about 8:30 because I was sitting in front of the fire feeling nice and cosy and I was having a glass of whisky and dozing off. That thing happened to me. That thing where you suddenly jump. Do you know what I mean? Like you are just about to fall asleep and you suddenly jerk awake? That thing. It can be quite startling. Yes startled awake that’s it. Well, that’s what happened and I nearly spilt the glass of whisky I was holding so I went to bed.

I read my book for a bit. Not my book I didn’t write it. A bloke called Robin Cook wrote it. I called it my book because I own it, that’s what I meant. But that’s not true actually. I don’t own it. I borrowed it from Tricia. She has got loads of books. So anyway I read the book – it’s title is Chromosome 6 by the way – for about an hour and then I go to sleep.

Later on I wake up and I hear a train passing – I live near a railway track – so I think to myself, oh good I think, it is morning. But it is not. When I look at my phone to see what the time is, it is only half past 12. I have only been asleep for about three hours!

So I have spent the last two hours or so lying here, trying to get back to sleep but can’t and my mind is swirling around like a whirlpool. So I set this little laptop computer up and here I am sitting up in bed writing this. It’s a bit cold but I have got my dressing gown on so not too bad really.

I like writing. I like reading too. If you asked me what I liked best writing or reading? It would be quite close but I would choose writing. More creative isn’t it? I mean you don’t need to be creative to read a book do you? So it’s no contest as far as I’m concerned. Definitely writing.

It is 3:16 now. Do you want to hear about the bloke I met outside the local shop yesterday? I shall tell you anyway. Let’s see if I can make it worth reading about

Yeah, I saw him outside the co-op. He was scratching one of them lottery scratchcards. By the time I got near him he was about to throw it in the bin. He looked up and saw me, “Waste of bloody money,” he says.

“Better luck next time eh,” I said.

He gives the scratchcard another look just to make sure he isn’t making a terrible mistake and throwing away a fortune. “ Nah,” he says with a grimace, “nothing. Oh well.” Then he looks at me again and I see a dawning recognition. “How you doing?” he asks, “ain’t seen you about for a while.”

I tell him I’m doing fine thanks and I go into the shop. When I come out again he is still standing there. He gives me a smile, “ere mate,” he says, “I don’t suppose you could lend me a quid could you? Please mate.”
I reach into my trouser pocket, locate a pound coin and hand it to him without saying anything. My silence and the look I give him is intended to show him I disapprove of his begging.

“Cheers mate,” he says, “ I’ll give it back to you next time I see you.” And with that he disappears into the shop.

He won’t give me the money back next time he sees me, he never does!
It is now 04:02. I think I shall try and get a bit of shuteye. Good night, or should that be good morning?


  1. Here is a lullaby to help you sleep.
    Coulters Candy
    Ally bally, ally bally bee,
    Sittin' on yer mammy's knee,
    Greetin' for anither bawbee,
    Tae buy some Coulter's Candy.

    Here's auld Coulter comin' roon'
    Wi' a basket on his croon
    So here's a penny, noo ye rin doon
    And buy some Coulter's candy.


    Ally bally, ally bally bee,
    When ye grow up ye'11 gang tae sea
    Makin' pennies for your daddie and me
    Tae buy some Coulter's candy.


    Oor wee Annie's greetin' tae,
    So whit can puir auld mammy dae?
    But gie them a penny atween them twae
    Tae buy some Coulter's Candy.


    Puir wee Jeannie she's lookin' affa' thin
    A rickle o' banes covered ower wi' skin
    Noo she's gettin' a wee double chin
    Wi' sookin' Coulter's candy.


    1. I know this song well Emma. I used to sing it to both my children,
      Thanks for thinking of me.

    2. It is one of my favorites too. Of course I cannot manage that beautiful Scottish accent needed to make it sound right.

  2. I have a few of those 'awake' nights. They're desperate, or rather I am when they happen. Happy New Year, John.

  3. John...I love you but your posts can be way too wordy. I would enjoy reading them more if you could give me a short version..Please! Maybe this is a United States thing???
    Happy New Year!!!! Love You!!!!

    1. I don't think it's a United States thing Jean I think it's a Jean Pell thing. I couldn't shorten a post like this because it would mean losing the whole point of writing it.
      Happy New Year! Love you too!

  4. Too many nights like that... But I already have plenty of family mooching off me. Don't need friends too.