Saturday, 3 November 2012

A German Officer.

I'm in bed. Alone. Apart from Bonnie the ginger cat. She purrs in her sleep you know.  I got into bed early tonight at about nine o'clock. I tried to write earlier at the other computer, but blimey it is cold tonight, and I couldn't hardly feel my hands.Then I remembered this laptop and so here I am in bed. Snug as a bug in a rug. I have got a hot water bottle in with me. It is marvellous. I have had it a while now. I bought it when I realised the dating agency were not going to supply me with a hot woman.

Apparently what these dating agencies expect you to do is go out with women. Wine 'em and dine 'em, and find out if you are compatible. I tried it a few times, but I can't be doing with all that, hence the hot water bottle. OK it's an expensive one, but at least I know it's coming to bed with me and won't want it's feet massaged!

I have been trying to put a picture on here for ages but I cannot work out how to do it, so you are just going to have to take my word for it that I was talking to a Gestapo soldier today. In full uniform he was too. I thought he was in fancy dress or on his way to or from an historical enactment. Naturally I had to find out, so I went and said hallo to him. It turns out that he thinks he is a genuine Gestapo officer, and the uniform is his everyday wear. I got the impression that he might be a bit deluded. He did allow me to take his photo but he maintained a very stern expression all the time. After I realised he thought he was a real soldier I thought it best not to ask too many questions just in case he thought I was an English spy. Those Gestapo had a habit of shooting spies on sight. Oh I wish I could put the photo on here. I am going to have another try. I'll be back.

Half an hour later. Sorry I can't do it. I shall have to ask Steve to come and show me tomorrow. It's a shame
I can't do it. All I want to do is transfer the photo from my camera to here but it won't *%$"* work!

Oh well, perhaps it's a good thing. Maybe he is a genuine Gestapo officer? Perhaps it's better if I don't show him. I expect you are all thinking I am a complete bleedin' idiot. What has he been taking? He has completely lost his marbles!

That's it for now then. Not much happened today. I did meet a Gestapo officer in town, but I don't suppose you will believe me.

Right I have had enough of this. Why didn't I think of this before? I am going to brave the cold and go back onto the other computer. Right don't look for a minute, I need to get out of bed, and I am naked from the waist down. Luckily Bonnie the ginger cat is still asleep. I wouldn't want her traumatised! Here I go. Back in a couple of minutes hopefully. Cor blimey it's cold. It's OK you can look now they have disappeared in this cold anyway.

Here he is. See I told you so. At least he is wearing a poppy!

That's it I'm going back to bed. The things I do for this blog!

G.g.g.g.g.goodnight all. G.g.g.g.god bless!

16 comments:

  1. I hope you beat the cr*p out of the Gestapo officer.
    Nighty night.
    Jane x

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  2. I think your Gestapo officer may be missing a few marbles of his own!

    G.g.g.goodnight John Boy, keep that hot water bottle close and may G.g.g.god bless YOU!

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  3. I use rice packs at night to keep me warm, they last quite a long time. If you can't find someone to sew you a couple, take some old long sock (without holes), and fill 2/3 with rice or beans (dry silly, not cooked). Then you microwave them (hope you have one) for a couple of minutes each and snuggle up.

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  4. Thanks for coaxing the photo onto your post, John. I never see Gestapo officers in shops here. How much were they asking?

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  5. He should be arrested and tried for war crimes. Silly sod. Try and keep your nuts warm :o)

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  6. I use wheat bags... microwave to heat and they're still warm in the morning. Much cosier than hot water bottles. As for the Gestapo, pity you didn't have Sadie the German Shepherd with you, she'd have sorted him out. Silly man, doesn't he know the war's over?

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  7. Ha ha ! Care in the community has a lot to answer for. There are a lot of nutters out and about now, at least this one appears harmless. I love the poppy, such a nice touch.

    I did the same as you last night, early to bed with laptop and snoring cat. Its a cheap way to keep warm. I have an electric blancket and its wonderful. If only it could massage my feet......

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  8. There are nut cases everywhere. Interesting he was wearing a poppy. Was he actually german or english?
    My dad use to refer to motorcycle cops as the Gestapo in "there is a gestapo behind us", when I was young, the war had not been over too long. When I called the cop a gestapo, dad decided it was not such a good nick name.

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  9. Obviously the kitty is quite content in her sleeping arrangements.......hopefully that'll find it's way to you.

    I'd no doubt you'd seen the....fella. But it's nice you went to great lengths to provide evidence, braving the cold and all...
    I don't suppose you advised him that the belt was a bit high and his colours weren't matching.....
    Wild guess on my part!

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  10. Nice photo of the Gestapo officer...I didn't doubt you for a second that you had seen him.....
    My mum always used to say that "they're more in than out" meaning there were more crazies walking around outside the nut house, than those hospitalised.

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  11. You're a better man than I. I MIGHT not wait that long for a hot woman, let alone a soldier in uniform. Ah, what we do for love...

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  12. Early in my married life we lived in a second floor apartment. The first floor was occupied by a German war bride and her family. She was very nice. Upstairs from us lived a strange man who played recordings of Hitler's speeches at full volume. He was sure that since she was from Germany that she would appreciate his zealousness. Finally one day he tried to attack her. She ran to my apartment and we called the police. We never saw him again thank goodness.

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  13. That was quite a sacrifice you made for our reading pleasure. I do hope you managed to get back to the hot water bottle quickly

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  14. The hot water bottle sounds a safer option. Wining and dining is far too expensive these days!

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  15. Reckon we all have our local characters...but yours is over the top!
    I joined an online dating site for free but then they wanted money to view the profiles/photos of who they matched me up with. Understand why you opted for a hot water bottle.LOL!

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  16. Well, I'm glad it was you and not the officer who was naked from the, um...

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