Happily the heartburn I suffered from yesterday (Oh how I suffered. You have no idea. I am an absolute martyr to it) has gone. Where it has gone to I don't know or care, but wherever it is it can stay there. If it does come back though I shall bear it with my usual brave fortitude. Unless of course it is not heartburn. I mean, what if it is something more sinister? What if it is, I'll say this quietly, heart trouble?
Tomorrow morning first thing. I shall make an appointment with the Doctor. I shall tell him I have come about my painful big toe (although that seems to have cured itself for the moment) and then, just as I am about to leave the surgery I shall casually mention that I am a bit concerned about my heart. At which point he shall ask what it is that is giving me cause for concern, and I shall mention the pain in my chest. He will then ask me,"Do you smoke?"
"Thank you Doctor," I shall say, That would be nice," and we shall sit there smoking, and putting the world to rights, in the way that blokes do. I shall leave his surgery with a tube of deep heat rub, and the advice to, "Rest up a bit on the walking."
Usually by this time, possibly due to the several glasses of whiskey I have drunk whilst we chatted, I shall have forgotten about my heart concerns. He really is the most wonderful Doctor.
They do say that walking, is good for the heart, and also making love to a beautiful woman is supposed to be very beneficial. As you may know, if you read this blog often. I do a lot of walking.
At one stage I used to walk ten miles every day, and I did feel the better for it, although it was a bit of a nuisance having to get a taxi home every week. Seventy mile taxi rides are very expensive!
Anyway that's enough talking about my heart. I am feeling better today. It probably was just indigestion.
I don't wish to sound morbid, but I have just thought of a great epitaph for my headstone: "He thought it was just a touch of wind!" How cool is that?
I wonder if it's possible to get a beautiful woman on the National Health Service? Purely for medicinal reasons of course. I would settle for an ugly one, but I really have to consider my heart!