Fantastic, it's Friday night! I shall just have a bit of a scrub up. Make myself look even more attractive than usual. Add a dash of my new cologne, and go into town. Where I shall no doubt attract the attentions of several ladies. Which is a bit of a nuisance really, because I hate having to choose between them. I hate letting so many of them down. What to do? What to do?
Do you know what? I just cannot bear the thought of causing all that disappointment. It isn't fair on the women. I have made a decision. I shall stay home. Hey! I just remembered. There are several videos on youtube I want to watch. They are all about stationary engines. Brilliant. I shall be so happy.
I mean why would I want to go out drinking and having fun on a Friday night? Silly at my age. Goodness me, some of those women could have designs on my body. I could end up getting hurt. Physically and emotionally. Phew! Thank heavens I have such tremendous self control.
As a matter of fact I really need an early night. I wasn't able to get the Ramshackle Gallery finished today as I had hoped, so I need to get an early start tomorrow. I shall make the finishing touches to it after I get back from the gym.
Pardon? What was that? Oh the gym. Haven't I mentioned it. I have been working out. Getting my body even more toned than normal. I have been working on my abs mostly. My six pack is looking really good. In fact my upper torso is full of definition. I have been working on my thighs too, I have to be in good shape for the calendar.
Yes that's right. I have decided to have a calender made. It will feature me in various poses, and will be mainly for the ladies, but I feel certain some blokes might want a copy to hang up on their wall. It will probably inspire them to make the most of their assets too.
I will be selling the calendar in aid of charity, 'The John Bain Needs A Holiday Fund'. I will let you know how to pre order your copy shortly. It will be a limited edition of 25,000, so please make sure you order in good time.
Now then, let me see, 25,000 at £5.00 per copy, that works out at £125,000. Wow! Why haven't I thought of this before? How exciting. Of course for my blog followers I shall not charge extra for postage and packaging. I'm not greedy.
Oh my word! Is that the time? I must get on with watching those stationary engine videos before I go to bed. Oh no hang on a minute. I don't want to get over excited. I might not be able to sleep. I think I shall leave it for now. Read a book instead. A thriller. Yes that's what I shall do. Read a book. That should be quite enough excitement for one night. Maybe not a thriller. Perhaps I had better just get some sleep instead.
Have a great weekend you lot, and be good.