Sunday, 15 July 2012

A Temporary Erection Problem.

My 65th birthday party draws ever nearer and the excitement is mounting day by day.

Because of all the rainfall we have had lately, and with the comfort of my guests in mind, particularly the ladies, I have decided that I will have a large temporary erection in the paddock.
A temporary erection.
Large structural erections of this nature have never been a problem for me in the past. I have always managed to get them up without any trouble whatsoever. As a matter of fact some of my earlier erections have drawn admiring looks, and appreciative remarks.

This time though I have struggled badly. Maybe it is my age. Maybe I am more anxious than normal due to the party preparations. I don't know. Whatever the reason I have had a lot of trouble trying to get it up, and once up, the damn thing would just not stay up. Eventually I had to tie it up with rope, just to keep it in place!
Nearly up.
However, refusing to be disheartened, and not wanting to disappoint anyone, I struggled on and finally I was satisfied with the result. Well, not entirely satisfied I have to say, because it is still not as firm an erection as I would really like. I'm fairly sure though that with a little more thought I will somehow manage to stiffen it a little more.

It needs a cover too. I think a tarpaulin sheet should do it. All I have to do now is hope that this temporary erection stays up on the night. I might have to lash it down with strong ropes!

I hope you had a lovely weekend.
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17 comments:

  1. Emma Springfield15 July 2012 at 09:49

    Incorrigible!

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  2. Geo.15 July 2012 at 10:04

    Enjoyable post! Most thoughtful of you to provide protection. Tarpaulin should suffice. Happy birthday!

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  3. Ann15 July 2012 at 10:28

    I can't begin to tell you how much this post did for my spirits today.

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  4. Jane and Chris15 July 2012 at 14:39

    Perhaps you should have found someone to give you a hand?!!!
    Jane

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    Replies
    1. Eileen M15 July 2012 at 19:20

      Ha Ha !! Just what I was going to suggest, you beat me to it. Well done Jane and Chris.

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  5. DEB15 July 2012 at 17:08

    Maybe you need some stimulation. There's a good book called "the Wood Butcher's Art" that might helpful. ;- }

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  6. Anonymous15 July 2012 at 17:15

    You seem to have your erection under control, but you may want to clench the cover a little tighter in case of high wind!

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  7. kden15 July 2012 at 19:54

    Don't get ropeburn man!!

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  8. Tanya Murray16 July 2012 at 00:56

    Sounds like a big event is expected. Maybe some fireworks at the end.

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  9. Valerie16 July 2012 at 03:06

    'Eventually I had to tie it up with rope, just to keep it in place!'

    That's the bit that made me laugh the loudest... lolololol.

    When is this birthday of yours... can we have an on-line party for those who can't make it in person?

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  10. diane b16 July 2012 at 04:58

    You are naughty. But the ladies will love it.

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  11. Beatrice P. Boyd16 July 2012 at 10:18

    John, of course it was obvious that you were ONLY describing the temporary shelter for the upcoming festivities (right?). As Valerie suggested, do tell when the grand event will occur for an online celebration.

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  12. Paul16 July 2012 at 13:04

    I'm sorry to hear about your erection problems! What do you expect though at your age!I'm glad you will have protection on the night, especially for the ladies' comfort. Most thoughtful of you, John. Hope you have great success on your 65th birthday and the ladies are satisfied with your temporary erection!

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  13. Anonymous16 July 2012 at 15:26

    This reminds me of my youth and playing with my erector set. Such fun screwing on the nuts. Glad your erection will be safe. Please save the plans as I am approaching that date.
    Grenville

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  14. La Mode Operandi16 July 2012 at 20:14

    I just about peed my pants reading this gem! And what an erection it is! I hope to see pictures of this wonderful birthday bash of yours! And if not, Happy Early 65th Birthday!!!

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  15. Meanqueen17 July 2012 at 03:20

    Looking good to me. Let me know if I can bring any extra equipment to help support your erection. Rope, big metal clips left over from my market stall, tarpaulin. I'm a dab hand at building erections myself you know. I can come as early as you like to help.

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  16. Kev Alviti18 July 2012 at 14:55

    This made me laugh! I hope when I get to 65 I don't have any of these problems!

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