Sunday, 15 July 2012

A Temporary Erection Problem.

My 65th birthday party draws ever nearer and the excitement is mounting day by day.

Because of all the rainfall we have had lately, and with the comfort of my guests in mind, particularly the ladies, I have decided that I will have a large temporary erection in the paddock.
A temporary erection.
Large structural erections of this nature have never been a problem for me in the past. I have always managed to get them up without any trouble whatsoever. As a matter of fact some of my earlier erections have drawn admiring looks, and appreciative remarks.

This time though I have struggled badly. Maybe it is my age. Maybe I am more anxious than normal due to the party preparations. I don't know. Whatever the reason I have had a lot of trouble trying to get it up, and once up, the damn thing would just not stay up. Eventually I had to tie it up with rope, just to keep it in place!
Nearly up.
However, refusing to be disheartened, and not wanting to disappoint anyone, I struggled on and finally I was satisfied with the result. Well, not entirely satisfied I have to say, because it is still not as firm an erection as I would really like. I'm fairly sure though that with a little more thought I will somehow manage to stiffen it a little more.

It needs a cover too. I think a tarpaulin sheet should do it. All I have to do now is hope that this temporary erection stays up on the night. I might have to lash it down with strong ropes!

I hope you had a lovely weekend.

18 comments:

  1. Enjoyable post! Most thoughtful of you to provide protection. Tarpaulin should suffice. Happy birthday!

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  2. I can't begin to tell you how much this post did for my spirits today.

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  3. Perhaps you should have found someone to give you a hand?!!!
    Jane

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    1. Ha Ha !! Just what I was going to suggest, you beat me to it. Well done Jane and Chris.

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  4. Maybe you need some stimulation. There's a good book called "the Wood Butcher's Art" that might helpful. ;- }

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  5. You seem to have your erection under control, but you may want to clench the cover a little tighter in case of high wind!

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  6. Don't get ropeburn man!!

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  7. Sounds like a big event is expected. Maybe some fireworks at the end.

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  8. 'Eventually I had to tie it up with rope, just to keep it in place!'

    That's the bit that made me laugh the loudest... lolololol.

    When is this birthday of yours... can we have an on-line party for those who can't make it in person?

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  9. You are naughty. But the ladies will love it.

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  10. John, of course it was obvious that you were ONLY describing the temporary shelter for the upcoming festivities (right?). As Valerie suggested, do tell when the grand event will occur for an online celebration.

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  11. I'm sorry to hear about your erection problems! What do you expect though at your age!I'm glad you will have protection on the night, especially for the ladies' comfort. Most thoughtful of you, John. Hope you have great success on your 65th birthday and the ladies are satisfied with your temporary erection!

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  12. This reminds me of my youth and playing with my erector set. Such fun screwing on the nuts. Glad your erection will be safe. Please save the plans as I am approaching that date.
    Grenville

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  13. I just about peed my pants reading this gem! And what an erection it is! I hope to see pictures of this wonderful birthday bash of yours! And if not, Happy Early 65th Birthday!!!

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  14. Looking good to me. Let me know if I can bring any extra equipment to help support your erection. Rope, big metal clips left over from my market stall, tarpaulin. I'm a dab hand at building erections myself you know. I can come as early as you like to help.

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  15. This made me laugh! I hope when I get to 65 I don't have any of these problems!

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