Something strange is going on in my head. What's that you say? You knew that already? Oh how very amusing. No I'm serious. Somethings happening in my noggin. I'm having flashbacks. Flashbacks to childhood. Oh I do know I go on about my childhood a bit. But this is different. Now I am remembering things that I didn't even know I had forgotten. Things from a very early age. Things from before I was in a children's home. Things from when I was still with my mum. Things that must have happened before I was two years old. Now that is an early memory.
I think it must be due to the fact that I am getting started on writing my book. Memories are being dredged up. Some good. Some not so good.
I do know from writing this blog, that memories, which were once lost in the wilderness of forgotten thoughts, are liable to resurface when starting to write. Indeed I do believe I have read of this happening. I can't remember where I read it though. Ha! How ironic is that?
I am aware of false memory syndrome. Where someone thinks something happened, when it didn't. When a person manages to utterly convince themselves of the truth of an absolutely imagined event. I am not prone to this phenomenon I hasten to add.
Anyway this little memory that popped up today, which in itself might seem completely innocuous, has, as I reflect on it, given me a nice little lift. I shall reveal the memory to you now.
When I was little I had long straight hair. No that's not it. I'm just coming to the main part, which is this: My mum used to curl my hair, she used to curl my hair with curling tongs. I can remember her heating the curling tongs. I can't remember how she heated them. I do remember that she would brush the tangles from my hair, and spend time curling it. I can almost feel her doing it now. In this memory she is happy. Smiling. Talking away to me. She likes me having curly hair. She thinks I look bonny.
Have you worked out why this simple little memory is so important to me? You probably have if you are a mother yourself. It is important because that act, that motherly act, tells me that despite events that later occurred, there was a time, when she did care. There was a time when she was a loving proper mum.
Oh flipping heck! Now I have got myself all emotional again. What a wimp!