Tuesday 10 July 2012

With A Cute Little Curl On Top.

Something strange is going on in my head. What's that you say? You knew that already? Oh how very amusing. No I'm serious. Somethings happening in my noggin. I'm having flashbacks. Flashbacks to childhood. Oh I do know I go on about my childhood a bit. But this is different. Now I am remembering things that I didn't even know I had forgotten. Things from a very early age. Things from before I was in a children's home. Things from when I was still with my mum. Things that must have happened before I was two years old. Now that is an early memory.

I think it must be due to the fact that I am getting started on writing my book. Memories are being dredged up. Some good. Some not so good.

I do know from writing this blog, that memories, which were once lost in the wilderness of forgotten thoughts, are liable to resurface when starting to write. Indeed I do believe I have read of this happening. I can't remember where I read it though. Ha! How ironic is that?

I am aware of false memory syndrome. Where someone thinks something happened, when it didn't. When a person manages to utterly convince themselves of the truth of an absolutely imagined event. I am not prone to this phenomenon I hasten to add.

Anyway this little memory that popped up today, which in itself might seem completely innocuous, has, as I reflect on it, given me a nice little lift. I shall reveal the memory to you now.

When I was little I had long straight hair. No that's not it. I'm just coming to the main part, which is this: My mum used to curl my hair, she used to curl my hair with curling tongs. I can remember her heating the curling tongs. I can't remember how she heated them. I do remember that she would brush the tangles from my hair, and spend time curling it. I can almost feel her doing it now. In this memory she is happy. Smiling. Talking away to me. She likes me having curly hair. She thinks I look bonny.

Have you worked out why this simple little memory is so important to me? You probably have if you are a mother yourself. It is important because that act, that motherly act, tells me that despite events that later occurred, there was a time, when she did care. There was a time when she was a loving proper mum.

Oh flipping heck! Now I have got myself all emotional again. What a wimp!

10 comments:

  1. Hello John! Thank you for joining my site. I am in my 60s and am also surprised by memories resurfacing in a brain I'd come to consider a very simple mechanism. I suppose we're always learning how to have a past. My hair has always been curly, obstinate and unruly and shows no signs of going away, but I do recall my mother shearing it short to make life easier. Early memory, probably remarkable because it required sitting unnaturally still.

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  2. I feel that your mother did truly care for you. If she did not she would not have repeatedly come to get you. She must have been emotionally poorly equipped to be a mother. Perhaps something happened when your father was no longer in the picture. From your posts it seems that she was loving when you spent time with her. It is really too bad that she was not getting the help she needed. Maybe your life would have been easier but then would you have had the remarkable ability to entertain us?

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  3. Well a memory that confirms that your mother cared about you is a right fine one.

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  4. It's good to remember the good memories.

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  5. John, I remember having my hair curled with those curling irons. We heated ours by laying them in the fireplace next to the fire. Then they would be tested out on a piece of paper to make sure they weren't too hot. I remember seeing the paper scorch then having to wait a bit for them to cool down. Occasionally, I would have my ear inadvertently burnt if my grandmother wasn't as careful as she should have been. Memories can be good so embrace them, even if they are not so good, remember its what has gone before us that makes us the incredible people we are today. (((((Hugs to you)))))

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  6. Not every woman is a natural born mother. I feel sure your mother loved you dearly because as someone pointed out sha always came back to you. I wonder what her childhood was like. Did she ever talk about it ?
    As you continue with your book you will probably trigger more random memories. I hope they are all pleasant like this one. By the way getting emotional is not at all whimpy. :-)

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  7. It is good that you could find some happy memories. You have had a sad life but you have people around you who care for you.

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  8. John this is my new blog link http://seasonsfullcircle.blogspot.co.nz/

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  9. You've made me remember things too. Wasn't it the fashion in those days for little boys to have their hair curled? I hope the memory stays with you that your Mom did care.

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  10. John, after reading the previous comments it seems that folks can certainly "read" a lot into your posts about your early days. I was just wondering how "accurate" their interpretations may be.

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