Wednesday, 11 July 2012

From Here To Modernity.

I am using the word processor to write my best selling book, but I am finding it quite difficult to fathom out. All sorts of strange things are happening as I write. One of the most annoying things is, the curser has a habit of getting fatter and fatter. It starts off like | and ends like, oh I can't do it on this. It ends up as a solid black block. Eventually I somehow make it go away, but I don't know how I do it.

Then there are the page numbers. I put a number at the top of the page as normal and start to write. Next time I look, the bloody number is halfway down the page. So I have to delete it and put it back at the top.

Why do certain words have a blue block around them? Suddenly. For no apparent reason?

Why do the double spaced lines revert to single space when I'm not looking?

Why do the lines of text stop in the middle of the page and then begin a again in the middle of the next line?

Why does the curser disappear sometimes?

Why this? Why that?

It's OK relax. I'm not expecting you to answer these questions.

My friend and neighbour Steve came in yesterday to help. All these irritating things I have just mentioned, didn't happen when I tried to demonstrate what the problems were. Typical that. Never mind he was able to explain a few things to me. The trouble is I have already forgotten what he said.

I expect I shall get the hang of it eventually. Onwards and upwards, as they say. Who says that? Actually I have never heard anyone say that, except myself!

This book of mine is going to take forever if I don't sort things out. If at first you don't succeed, as they say. Who says? Who are they? Oh come on it's a common saying. Yes that is true. Many a true word spoken in jest, as they say. Oh good grief!

I am spending more time figuring out how to work the word processor, than I am writing the book. Also I am in constant fear of inadvertently deleting all the work I have achieved. What a horrid feeling that is.

I may not be commenting so often on your blog for a while, whilst I crack on with my book. I am visiting you often though. It is just that when I am on a roll as they say, (who says? Who are they, these people?) I need to keep my train of thought going. A roll? A roll? Better conquer the word processor first matey. You ain't going on any rolls until you do. That's for certain.

I keep getting the feeling that I'm talking to myself. That's because you are. How weird! It is a sign of genius they say. Who says? Who are they? It is also a sign of being stark, raving bonkers.

It ain't easy being a budding best selling author.

Modern technology eh! Where would we be without it? Probably well on the way to finishing my book. That's where!


  1. I use to talk to myself all the time, carry on silent conversations with people in my head. Did'nt bother me until I started arguing with them and would end up crying from frustration because I wanted to beat the shit out of them and couldn't! ;D

    Hope you figure out yur word processor.

  2. Do not worry about talking to yourself... when you ask yourself a question you are bound to get the answer you want.

  3. what are you using a word processor for, when computers are all the rage! Thats just so 1980's! Hope you get it sorted but then again I don't know why I am wasting my time commenting because you won't read it, especially now you are on a roll.

    1. The word processor is part of this computer. I click on the icon that says word processor, and there it is. Is there another way to do it? I thought I was using my computer. I'm a dinosaur. The roll has changed. It's now a slow crawl.

  4. You sound almost word for word like the girl I work with except at one point she even kept having her script suddenly turn to Chinese characters.

  5. I haven't used a word processor in a long time - - but I would suggest that you call in a priest to do an exorcism on yours!

  6. I say onwards and upwards too so you are not alone. Sounds like you need to follow your own advice. My new blog is at

  7. My Mum was a great one for sayings and superstitions.
    'If you can't fight wear a big hat'
    If you took a long time to do something she would say.
    'You must have been all round 'will's mothers'
    Never did find out who Will was.


  8. So what's wrong with talking to yourself... I do it all the time. Sometimes I forget to talk to hubby 'cause I've already said everything to myself.
    The best word processor advice I can offer is 'save as often as you breathe' ... it removes the worry of losing stuff.

  9. Well that exlains it you are writing a book. let me know when I can get an autographed copy. Always save your work every page or paragraph. I know the feeling about it doing funny things.
    Have you heard of Blurb. It is a program that you can download free from the internet and you write straight into tour book and you can get it professionally published at a cost depending on how many pages. It has its own word processor built in. It is easy to use.

  10. I often talk to myself and I even answer. They say that's a sign that you're going crazy. Like you I don't know who they are and I don't care. At least that's what I told myself