Monday, 9 July 2012

'A Song For The Ladies'.

That dating agency. The one that keeps on sending me photographs of ladies, has finally got to me. So I signed up to it again. Actually as it turns out, I never, as far as they were concerned, left it in the first place. They still had all my details on file. I can understand this in some ways. I mean obviously when a man of my looks and experience signs up, they are going to try and keep him. Men like me are so few and far between. But even so, still sending them out to women, after all this time. That's a bit cheeky. I was a little annoyed by this, when I thought of all the women who have requested to meet me. I hate the idea of being responsible for all that disappointment and heartbreak. Oh well. Never mind. I'm back now. Back to hopefully fulfill a few fantasies. At least I will eventually. I have not paid the dating agency fee yet. I'm not quite ready.

But I have been practicing my 'chatting up the ladies' technique. In fact, I was sitting in front of the mirror today trying out a few lines which I thought might impress some of them. I was saying things like: "Wow baby!  You look so good," and, "No, of course I don't think your arse looks fat in that dress," and, "I love the way the roots of your hair blend with the bleached bits." You know, all kinds of nice things along those lines.

As I was saying these things to the mirror, I thought they sounded really good, and it suddenly occurred to me that the words would make a nice romantic song. So I wrote the best bits down and practiced a few chords on my guitar. This is the result. This was just the first take. It might need a bit more practice. I call this little bluesy number, 'A Song For The Ladies'.

Some of you men might want to listen too. It might improve your technique with the ladies. You are looking at many years of experience here. I feel I need to pass on the knowledge. Not all men have it!

Please share this. With your help I do think it could be a number one hit!

17 comments:

  1. This reminds me of the Flight Of the Conchords. They are very funny too, almost as funny as you!

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  2. When I have recovered from my swoon I will leave a comment.

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  3. :O OH MY GOODNESS... how did you know I was wearing a dress?? I think I may be blushing, either that or I'm having another hot flash!

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  4. Flipping heck that reminds me of Michael Caine's "Alfie"!
    Jane x

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  5. Oh John I was waiting for the line "No of course I don't think your arse looks fat in that dress". :) even without I think you tube will snap it up:) B

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  6. You'll have the ladies flocking.

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  7. John, don't know how can the ladies would be able to resist such an offer.

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  8. Definitely a number one.

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  9. I can see them all lining up for a piece of the action! What a stud! Thanks for the hints! Check out my new blog - http://seasonsfullcircle.blogspot.co.nz/

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    1. I have tried without success to locate your new blog Paul. I shall keep trying.
      I hope life is going good for you. Hope you are well.

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  10. Where do I sign up to the dating agency?

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  11. I think my FLABBER has well and truly been GASTED!!

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  12. There's no need to utilize a dating agency - -your "Song For the Ladies" is an irresistable bait.
    I hope you have plenty of smelling salts to revive the swooning ladies who line up at your door.

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  13. That's it. I'm gonna get me a tight fittin' dress and sign up to that datin' agency.

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  14. Well, first of all--- you know I have it! Second of all--- I do see there are lots of ladies that stop by your blog. Can you work this into the second verse?
    "... but really, Baby, a moustache is a sign of distinction." Maybe not. Too abrupt for a first date.

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  15. Mmm, smooth operator. You will have to try for Britains got talent. You will have a vast audience of ladies then. Not sure if this is a potential number 1 though, maybe a number 2. ;-)

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  16. My, my, I have heard all that before, so I was laughing along while you sang. However, your delivery was spectacular. I was signing up for a dating service and realized it was in the UK. I could not give them a postal code because I don't know what they are over there. I have not paid, but I keep getting messages from men.

    Thanks for the laugh and for exposing all the bad lines. You do have a sexy voice and delivery.

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