Saturday 16 June 2012

According To My Calculations I Am A Love Machine!

Fifteen months I have been blogging. What a lot I have shared with you. My life has become in that time, an open book. Not a finished book, you will be pleased to hear. There are still a good few pages yet to come. After all I am nearly 65 years old, and I have crammed a lot into those years.  Oh my word! In a few short weeks I shall be an OAP. OK I'll spell it out. An old age pensioner!

Sixty five years! According to my calculations, that is 780 months. Or I have also worked it out at 590 months. Hold on a minute while I sort this out. Right. Let me see now. 12 months equals 1 year. So 65 years multiplied by 12 months equals erm... OK so 65 x 12. No. Divided by 12. Maybe multiplied is right! Hang on. Let me try another way.

                                                       65
                                                       12 x
                                                       ___
                                                      130
                                                       ___
                                                       65
                                                       ___
                                                       780

No I'm still not sure about that. What if I count 65, 12 times? Ahha! I've got it. 65 x 3 = 195 yeah, and times that by 4. That comes to 590.

Oh blast! I'm back where I started. Oh well, anyway, as I say it's either 780 months or 590 months. Please take your pick. It doesn't seem very long does it? I've only lived for 780 months at the highest figure! That can't be right!

My maths teacher was right after all when he said: "There will come a day, young Bain, when you will wish you had applied yourself more to your lessons."

There are a few photos of me, in and around this blog. Go and take a look at them. Amazing isn't it? I simply don't look a day over 35 in any of them.

I think the fact that I look so young, combined with the fact that I am actually quite old, is the main reason why I have women begging me to have a relationship with them. They yearn for my incredibly fit body, and at the same time are acutely aware of the wealth of sexual pleasure, honed over many years, I am able to bring to the bedroom!



The years have taken their toll in one way though. My short term memory is up the creek. I am now at the stage where I can't recall what I've told you already. For instance. Today I was going to tell you about my Mum's cat and the budgerigar. I suddenly thought that I may have already told you that tale. I have been through this blogs archives, and can't find it. Mind you I didn't look through them all. I got a bit bored after searching the first few months.

I might tell it next time. If I remember that is.

By the way, if I do repeat anything, I apologise. But I am nearly 65 years old! How many weeks are there in 65 years? Let me work that out. Just kidding!

16 comments:

  1. Well as long as you don't forget about the women and leave them hanging about in the pub or something while you go home to work out how long you've lived again.... :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I was fortunate to witness in person what peak shape you are in. OMG You are a role model to us all! I aspire to hold myself together as well as you when approaching my 65th year!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Too much figuring for my brain, John. And if one is only as old as he feels, the. You are certainly younger than nearly 65.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You are going to be 780 months old or 3380 weeks old. I know this partly because I am good at math and partly because you are 20 days older than I am so I have been counting too. Do you want to know how many days it will be? It is quite depressing, you know. (Your second picture looks remarkably like EHS George.)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Are you going to retire when you are an OAP ? I know a chap who is a serial flasher. He was going to retire but he's decided to stick it out for another year.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm only 60...so is this what I have to look forward to? HA!
    Dang...what does OAP mean? Inquiring minds wish to know.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I believe the American OAP is called a Senior Citizen. In England Jean, women gain that status at 60. So you are 60? I find that difficult to believe looking at your photo. I'd have said you look late 30's.

      Delete
  7. BTW...John you were a handsome lad.:)

    ReplyDelete
  8. I almost got fed up waiting to come in with my comment... the queue gets longer every day. Mostly women, I notice. Wonder why that is... grins. Funny, my teacher said something similar to me, at least I think she was referring to my inability to grasp the meaning of maths. The invention of calculators was a blessing in my house.

    ReplyDelete
  9. PS. Oooooh you were a handsome young man... drooling now. Sigh!

    ReplyDelete
  10. You are a crack up John...from another one of your admirers! XX

    ReplyDelete
  11. Don't ya hate those that say I told ya so... even math teachers that are sooooooo much older than 65.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I turned 54 last week, my husband is 65 and I work for an 80+ year old couple. I've seen, heard and felt it all. I am prepared. You could probably dance around all of us John. Love your younger pics.

    ReplyDelete