According To My Calculations I Am A Love Machine!

Fifteen months I have been blogging. What a lot I have shared with you. My life has become in that time, an open book. Not a finished book, you will be pleased to hear. There are still a good few pages yet to come. After all I am nearly 65 years old, and I have crammed a lot into those years.  Oh my word! In a few short weeks I shall be an OAP. OK I'll spell it out. An old age pensioner!

Sixty five years! According to my calculations, that is 780 months. Or I have also worked it out at 590 months. Hold on a minute while I sort this out. Right. Let me see now. 12 months equals 1 year. So 65 years multiplied by 12 months equals erm... OK so 65 x 12. No. Divided by 12. Maybe multiplied is right! Hang on. Let me try another way.

                                                       65
                                                       12 x
                                                       ___
                                                      130
                                                       ___
                                                       65
                                                       ___
                                                       780

No I'm still not sure about that. What if I count 65, 12 times? Ahha! I've got it. 65 x 3 = 195 yeah, and times that by 4. That comes to 590.

Oh blast! I'm back where I started. Oh well, anyway, as I say it's either 780 months or 590 months. Please take your pick. It doesn't seem very long does it? I've only lived for 780 months at the highest figure! That can't be right!

My maths teacher was right after all when he said: "There will come a day, young Bain, when you will wish you had applied yourself more to your lessons."

There are a few photos of me, in and around this blog. Go and take a look at them. Amazing isn't it? I simply don't look a day over 35 in any of them.

I think the fact that I look so young, combined with the fact that I am actually quite old, is the main reason why I have women begging me to have a relationship with them. They yearn for my incredibly fit body, and at the same time are acutely aware of the wealth of sexual pleasure, honed over many years, I am able to bring to the bedroom!

The years have taken their toll in one way though. My short term memory is up the creek. I am now at the stage where I can't recall what I've told you already. For instance. Today I was going to tell you about my Mum's cat and the budgerigar. I suddenly thought that I may have already told you that tale. I have been through this blogs archives, and can't find it. Mind you I didn't look through them all. I got a bit bored after searching the first few months.

I might tell it next time. If I remember that is.

By the way, if I do repeat anything, I apologise. But I am nearly 65 years old! How many weeks are there in 65 years? Let me work that out. Just kidding!