Tuesday, 3 April 2012

X-Ray Results. Arthritis? My Foot!

Remember I told you I had x-rays done, on my shoulder and toe? Well the results show arthritis in my toe and just a bit of wear in my shoulder.

I think the doctor said the arthritis was osteo something or other. I kind of stopped listening when he mentioned arthritis, because to tell you the truth, I have been thinking it was something far worse.

So arthritis. Crikey I can deal with that. I'm a tough guy.

When I mentioned that I had been thinking of hiking the 120 miles of the South Downs Way, he said, once he had stopped laughing and sniggering, that I could have cortisone injections in my toe.

But I don't want to have the injections. There are a couple of reasons why. 'A' he said they might not work, and 'B'.....

Sorry, there isn't a 'B'.

'A' it is then. The injections might not work.

When I told him this was my reason for not having the cortisone injections, he looked at me a bit strangely, had a look at his notes, and said, "Oh I see. It does say here though, that you have a fear of needles."

I was indignant. "I do not!" I said, in what I hoped was my most indignant voice.

He looked at me in the way people look when they feel pity for someone, "It says here that you do."

"Well it is obviously a mistake, you have the wrong notes there."

"There is no mistake. It says John Bain quite clearly."

"Haha!" I say exultantly, "You have the wrong John Bain!"

He gave me that pitying look again, "There is only the one John Bain on my consulting list, and that John Bain is you, and you, it states quite clearly, have a fear of needles." He said this slowly, and to my way of thinking, in a patronising tone of voice.

"I do not have a fear of needles."

"Yes you do."


"Do." He was quiet for a moment, then, "It's a very common fear."

"Maybe it is." I countered, "But I don't have it!"

"There is nothing to be ashamed of," he went on, adding, "Even I'm a bit afraid of needles."

"But I'm not afraid," I said, and clutching my right shoe in one hand, pulling my sock on with the other, I hopped, and stumbled from his consulting room, shouting back over my shoulder, "AND I'M NOT ASHAMED EITHER."

It was then I noticed the people in the waiting area. They all heard me telling the Doctor in no uncertain terms, that I wasn't ashamed. They were all looking at me, and I knew they were thinking: What isn't he ashamed of?

It'll be all over the village by now, I can almost hear them gossiping. That John Bain, he's been up to something disgusting, and he's not even ashamed of himself.

Me! Afraid of needles! They can get those notes altered for a start!

I bet those x-ray results are wrong too. Arthritis! Bit of wear in the shoulder! That can't be right. With the pain I'm going through!

I'm a martyr to it! I may have mentioned that before.


  1. Better start ingesting more grease, and figure out how to send it to those joints! I'm amazed when people think we should pity them because they have some osteoarthritis. Well, duh. We are over 60 and have done a lot of moving. Keep moving. It hurts less. Trust me.

  2. I'm glad you stuck to your guns and put the doctor in his place. Is it all needles you're afraid of or is it where they are putting them that bothers you most?

  3. I had the needles in the shoulders and don't regret it. It was well worth a bit of terror. The way to deal with needles is close the eyes and think of something nice. Must have worked 'cause I didn't feel a thing.

    1. As I just said to Paul, I'm not afraid of needles! :-)

  4. I've heard that cortisone injections are very painful. Take glucosomine tablets they are great for joint pain. You can get them in the supermarket. They fixed my sore hips although I do recall they are not so good for the appendages but could be good for the shoulder.

    1. I don't mind if they are painful, because as I told the doctor, I am not afraid of needles! :-)

  5. I agree with Diane. My mum takes glucosomine for her arthritis (in her knees) and it does make a difference. Worth a try, especially as you're afraid of needles :-O

    1. I'll say it again. I am not afraid of needles! :-)

  6. I don't feel old until the aches and pains take over. I often wonder how this 25 year old person can hurt so much.

  7. I take it you don't sew , John?
    Jane x

    1. Of course I can sew Jane, Ask your Chris, all sailors can sew.

  8. Who was your Doctor John...."Doc Martin"? I love that show.
    Shark/Joan gave you some great advice. Exercise is the best medicine for achy joints.

  9. John, I think that whatbyou're trying tonsaybhere is that you're NOT afraid of needles or do I have that wrong?

  10. They wanted to pin my toe I thought sod that and left . I deal with it