Friday, 26 October 2012

The First Sign Of Madness.

Despite it being a very windy night I am pleased to report that the Teepee -which shall henceforth be referred to as the Tipi, because I am to lazy to spell it the other way- did not get blown away, or blown over.

However, I did dismantle it today. What happened was I was inside it pretending to be an Indian, (Is it OK to say Indian? I seem to recall that they prefer Native American) when I suddenly realised that it was looking quite small. It is supposed to have a floor of approx fifteen feet in diameter. I thought to myself, I thought, "John boy, that don't look like no fifteen feet. In fact if you ask me John boy it looks more like ten foot."

I may not have thought it. I may have actually said it out loud. Oh look I'll be honest with you. I was talking to myself. Which as you know is the first sign of madness. Or it might be the second sign. I'm not sure. But it goes with what people have been saying about me. Well two people actually, both of the female persuasion. One lady was walking her dogs in the back field - she shouldn't be there you know, it is private property- saw me balanced precariously against the tipi on a ladder, and asked what I was up too. When I told her I was preparing my winter quarters, she told me I must be mad. No she didn't. She didn't say must be, she said, "You are mad!"

I know what you are thinking. You are thinking, "Hang on, doesn't he walk in that back field which is private property?" Well yes I do, but I have permission. At least that's what I tell people who are nosey enough to ask. I don't have permission really. But over the years I have become quite proprietorial over the back field. She has no right to be there. I shall tell her that, next time I see her. Or I would if her husband wasn't such a big bloke!

Later I saw Mick, the bloke who gave me the new cock and hen - both doing well by the way, and putting on weight- and I asked him if he had any old canvas that I could use on my Tipi. He looked at me a bit strange, but he said he had an old awning at home, and he would bring it over. When he got here with it he said, "My Missus says to tell you. You are bloody mad!"

This is all very odd, because to tell you the truth, I have been thinking lately that I am perfectly sane, and that everyone else is mad. I mean what do they do with themselves. Watch rubbish stuff on telly all evening and spend the next day talking about it with people who watched it anyway. They ought to be outside in the fresh air making themselves a Tipi. How are they going to cope if disaster strikes? They won't have a clue. Mad. The lot of 'em. Not you though, my lovely readers, you are not mad. Mind you, you are reading this. Hmmm.

Where was I?  Oh yes.  The floor measurement. I got out the tape measure. I was well out. It was only twelve feet. That is not good, It has to be a minimum of fifteen for the fire to work properly. So I dismantled the whole thing and started again. I tell you, it was cold and raining, and I couldn't hardly feel a thing, but I persevered and managed to undo all the knots I had carefully tied the day before.

I spread the poles wider and the extra space made all the difference. It could really do with more covering. I shall keep my eyes open for anything suitable and add it on later. Tomorrow I shall light a fire inside it, just to try it out. It only has to be a small fire. I can't wait to see if it is as warm and cosy as they say it should be.

Blogger doesn't like me spelling cosy with an 's' they want me to spell it with a 'z' like the Americans do. You are funny you Americans with your spelling. However, you make up for it with your wonderful accents, and inventions, such as the Tipi.

I had better get to bed, it is half past one in the morning here. I went to bed late yesterday too. Or was it today. No it was yesterday. It is well past midnight, so it must be tomorrow already. If it is tomorrow now what will it be tomorro.... Oh dear, my head hurts! You don't think I'm going mad, do you?


  1. In answer to your last question...Certainly not! lol

  2. I hate to say it, but... I told you so John boy! Would you like some tips on building the fire now? ;D

  3. "Mad,bad, and dangerous to know" as Byron would have said.You have to have a dream catcher for your's essential.
    Jane x

  4. I don't know what to call the Indians any more. When I was a boy it was correct to call them Amerindians, but my friends who were native Americans preferred the names of their tribes --mainly Miwok and Maidu here in California's central valley. Now they are happy to be called "casino operators", and do very well financially. Do be careful to make the back of your tipi broader and longer than the front, otherwise the fire will suck air out of everywhere equally instead of mainly out of the front.

  5. Enjoy the madness. Just be worried if the voices in the head start debating the lyrics to "Hotel California."

  6. I do not believe that it is a sign of madness to talk to yourself. As for asking yourself questions, you know that you will get the answer you want. So keep on talking to yourself. I could manage quite well without modern conveniences. I did for much of my life. That is why I much prefer my comforts.

  7. Mad? Who you? No, never, but you are very entertaining. I must go now. I've got to try and remember the lyrics to Hotel California.

  8. It's a good job we turn the clocks back tonight, you will be able to catch up on your sleep.

  9. Making a tipi for yourself? I would suggest that you read "Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee", and then read this book, "Indiangivers". Both are excellent, I promise. (That last one sometimes stretches things ever so slightly, but all in all, a great book.)
    Now, I do know all the words to "Hotel California"!
    You should play that on your guitar so I can know for sure!
    Hope you will be COZY in your teepee (tipi)!

  10. Oh, I'm sure I look a bit 'touched' talking to critters (all named of course) that come and go through the yard here. Talking to oneself apparently is a step down from that level of madness--let me know if the other occurs and we'll 'talk'.

    I wondered about the construction of the tipi--and do take care about that back being broader and longer in the back. I know they look 'even', but they're not!
    I would take a photo of the one set up a bit down the road from us--they LOOK even enough, but looks are deceptive, eh?

  11. I've just realized why I like reading your blog so much. It's because I also talk to myself which is the first sing of madness. Or is it the second? Either way I guess that just means I can relate to everything you write

  12. John, mad or not, I love reading your exploits on your blog. What will you think of next your Royal Madness?
    Love the tepee (tipi) idea.

  13. I like your form of madness. How are you waterproofing all those patched pieces of canvas?