Tuesday, 30 October 2012

Gay And Posh People Are Very Welcome Here.

This internet thing. It's amazing, don't you think? This afternoon I ordered some art materials, and an hour later I got an email saying they had dispatched the goods by first class post. This could mean they will arrive in the morning! Flipping incredible! It's nearly as quick as going to the shops myself, and a heck of a lot cheaper.

Did you notice I just said 'heck'? I don't know where that came from. Do I say heck when I'm talking? I don't think so. I say 'hell' sometimes. I say, "What the hell!" But 'heck?" I never say heck. It doesn't go with my English voice. I definitely prefer hell. It sounds much more manly. Heck sounds a little bit gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that! He adds hastily. This is an all inclusive blog. We are all different. I know lots of gay people. No I don't! Why did I say that? I know about seven or eight gay people, if you include lesbians. I actually have two lesbians friends, and two lesbians I know to say hallo to, and am acquainted with some of their friends, who are lesbians.

I know two, no, four gay men. Actually six if I include Ken and Brian, but they have moved to France and I haven't seen them for ages. Nice. Not nice that I haven't seen them. Nice. That's where they moved to in France. Say it like this: Neese. It rhymes with geese. They eat geese liver pate`in France. That's not neese, nice I mean.

I suppose lesbians include themselves in the term gay. I don't know for sure. Next time I see Julia I shall ask her. She will know because she is a lesbian. I forgot about Julia. She shall be added to the list of gay people I know. Sorry I forgot you were a lesbian Julia.

There is a poem about Julia. Not the Julia I know. Although it could be. She is a good looking woman.

When as in silk my Julia goes,

Then, then me thinks,

How sweetly flows,

The liquifaction of her clothes.

Sorry. I can't remember the rest, or who wrote it. Maybe later I shall Google the words. It is an old poem but it might be on there. It is a nuisance forgetting things. The funny thing is, well it strikes me as funny anyway, is that I used to memorise poems as a way of improving my memory. How ironic is that? I wanted to use an exclamation mark there, but suddenly realised it was a question. Rather spoilt the effect I feel.

So yes, as I was saying. Hopefully my art supplies will be here in the morning. Jolly good service! Hold on, I never use the word jolly. I might say flipping good service or even bloody good service. But not jolly. That sounds a bit posh. Not that there is anything wrong with being posh. I know lots of posh people.....


  1. I say gosh and heck...I'm neither posh or gay.You did say I sounded like Joanna Lumley,she's posh...I'm not.
    Jane x

  2. I have never known anyone who can wander off a subject as much as you do! You seem to be in a hell of a good mood today!

  3. I always say a lot worse things than "hell", but sometimes I say "heck" in my blog just to look good.
    If it makes me sound gay I don't care. What the hell.

    I used to know two lesbian vampires when I lived in Hollywood. At least they THOUGHT they were vampires.... they only went out at night.

  4. ROFL

    You sound like a rerun of 'Seinfeld'.....NOT that there's anything wrong with that! LOL

    I'm not of the English persuasion, but getting to share a home with one has enhanced my command of colourful language.
    The good news is most folks don't know what in the world I'm really saying when I tell 'em to "go away in short jerky movements"......
    But they DO comprehend 'ohforfucksake'. LOLOLOL

    *hanging head*

    Yes, I know--that'll cost me 50 cents in the cuss can....

    1. I love Seinfeld, you have captured it nicely!!
      As for OFFS, that is one I may have to use in the future when I'm really annoyed.

  5. John, I am laughing till the tears have blinded me...you are TOO funny....as well as the other commenters above.
    I say heck all the time, and I can assure you that I am not gay, but I have been accused of being posh...so what who cares?
    NOT that there's anything wrong with that! LOL.
    I sat "What the hell" too, and my favourite "What the frig?" as in "What the frig do you mean?"
    I'm laughing so much I can't even gather my thoughts properly....
    You lot are hilarious....that's why I love this blog so much.

  6. You are for ever a funny man. So, you change your header picture for Halloween? Looks spooky. Happy Halloween to you. Do you folks have trick or treats? In Malaysia, Halloween are for the adults, so many Halloween parties organised by pub etc. It was for the kids right? A chance to dress up weirdly and go get candies here and there. Hope you have a blast on Halloween.

  7. You have left me speechless. How often does that happen?

  8. You sure can talk a lot of rot but so hilarious. You will never be short of words for blogging. On line shopping is something I haven't tried yet except for photobooks.

  9. John, you are funny. My partner thinks I talk posh. Mind you he is from Essex ! I occasionally say , 'cripes & 'what a fag' not what the Americans mean by fag, a gay person, but' what a nuisance'. I think its an age thing ! Love your blogs by the way .

  10. By heck, that was funny, John. Yes I use the word heck in public. I'm not saying which words I use in my private space. Agree about internet buying, the service is far superior to the local shops. Same day delivery suits me very well.

  11. In person I say a lot of four letter words that I never use on my blog. If anyone were to meet me in person they would wonder who I was because I'm totally different in real life. I would have to take Duke with me so they would know it was me.
    You've got me beat in the gay department, that is to say that you know more gay people than I do. I only know one

  12. after further contemplation, I should say it's possible I know more gay people but just don't realize they are gay. Maybe I should ask them so I can get an accurate count

  13. You are funny! I know people. I try to not classify them too much.