Wednesday, 10 October 2012

Christian Grey And His Lady.

Allow me to introduce my new associates, Mr Christian Grey and his lady friend Ms Blackrock. They have moved here from a house across the road. I thought it was very generous of the chap when he asked if I would like a hen. As my flock has been rather severely depleted due to the predatory instincts of Mr Reynard, of course I said yes, thinking that Sunny Jim my big cock would be pleased to add to his harem.

What the chap from across the road failed to mention was that Ms Blackrock, was already in a relationship. So when he brought her along with her fiance, I was a bit put out to say the least.

"No, I can't take him too," I said, "I already have a big cock. They will fight each other to the death."

"Sorry mate, he said, "I thought you realised about the cock. They come as a pair. But if you don't want the cock, you can always chop it's 'ed orft. Does you 'ave an axe?"

"Why didn't you chop it's 'ed orft, er head off?" I asked him.

"Nah mate. I couldn't do that. 'E's a family pet, that cock is. Me kids love 'im.

"Well why are you giving him to me then?"

"Er, it's the Missus mate. She don't like 'im. She's 'lergic to fevver's. It's 'eartbreakin' for me kids, but e's got to go. Fink of 'im as a bonus mate, an if you want's to fatten 'im up, you orta get a few good dinner's out of it."

So anyway the upshot is that I am now the proud owner of two cocks. Bearing in mind that the last time I had two cocks, it resulted in a fight to the death between them, this is a bit of a nuisance. I have had to build a temporary pen for the new arrivals. It was a nice day today too, and I should have been getting on with the Ramshackle Art Gallery. There is always something delaying things.

In a few days I shall let them free range, and see what the reaction of Sunny Jim is. If they start fighting I shall have to separate them again.

He is a beautiful looking cock. Lots of shades of grey in him. At least fifty I would think. The breed is Cuckoo Maran. I know from experience with this breed that they can be aggressive. Not just to other cocks either. I have been attacked by one in the past.

Both he and the little hen are very underweight. Not really up to fighting at the moment luckily. Hopefully they will thrive here.

Sunny Jim did not father any chicks this year. I suspect he is infertile. I am sure Mr Christian Grey can do a lot better.

I found out later why he really had to get rid of the cock. It was nothing to do with his wife being allergic to feathers. It was because Mr Christian Grey, likes to let the whole neighbourhood know, in a very loud way, that it is morning. There had been a few complaints. Oh dear!

Oh and by the way. Mr Christian Grey will not end up in the pot.


  1. He won't end up in a pot but perhaps manacled to a roosting box?
    Jane x

  2. Seems like there's usually a catch or surprise to something that's offered for free, but yiu got 2 surprises, a second cock and one that crows. Now there must be something funnier to write about that but my brain is not functioning now.

  3. Hey John!
    I just did a post about Danny Boy! I did a link to you singing it, hope others will hear your performance.
    Take care!
    Shades of Gray and now this post, you really must be wanting to be published! HA HA

  4. Look at it this way... you have potential for a good many posts from your fowl.

  5. You've heard the old adage, I'm sure that "there's no such thing as a free lunch," haven't you? This time you may have gotten lucky!

  6. Have you by any chance been reading Fifty
    I couldn't bear it if the cock ended up in the broiler. not now I've seen his picture.

    I too have set up a link to your dulcet tones for Friday week but in the meantime there is a link already set-up for your blog.

  7. Nothing like having a spare cock for when the big old cock gives up the ghost. He does look like a handsome cock to be sure! Grey suits him greatly.

  8. Oh dear, I think you should look for a new home for your cock, preferably far away from any houses. A farm in the countryside may like another cock. He does look very pretty.

  9. Oh John, the things you get yourself into...wishing you luck with your LOUD cock.

  10. Gracious I got a bit of a shock when I first started reading your blog, Sunny Jim's a nice name though.

    And I think you're pretty damn devoted to bird welfare to build a whole new enclosure

    Hope you find that two cocks are better than one in the end

  11. But if he only moved across the road, won't he still be waking up the neighborhood... and you?