|This is not my foot. My foot is prettier. Also I do not have gout. I can't afford it!|
Oh, you are still here! No it's nothing, really! I just thought after those boring opening statements, that you might have decided not to read on. I mean they don't exactly grab the attention do they? But as you are still here...
These two painful areas which I may have mentioned before, are intermittent pains. Most of the time they are just a dull ache, hardly noticeable. But when they decide to make themselves noticeable, by heck! They don't half hurt. I can take it though! I'm a proper bloke me!
If I could get rid of only one of these pains, it would be the toe. This pain comes from nowhere, when I'm walking, and causes me to suddenly stop in my tracks and start shaking my foot in the air, hopping about like a madman, all the while muttering quiet curses such as, "oh you silly toe!" Or ,"oh bother, how frightfully annoying!" I don't swear you see, being a gentleman, and of course I never tell lies!
Incidentally, I don't really know if mad men hop about. It is not a phenomenon I have witnessed. Just thought it best to mention that. I wouldn't want to be accused of being madist. Or whatever ist applies in this case.
The shoulder pain got me today. Or maybe it's the upper arm. I can't make up my mind. What happened was...
Hang on, are you sure you're not bored? Why do you keep moving the cursor towards that little arrow up there?
Look, to cut a long story short, I forgot about my bad arm and twisted it carrying a door. It was painful, and it too, occasioned the muttering of a few quiet curses!
Carrying doors is not something I do very often, and I will try to avoid doing too much of it in the future, that's for certain! Although of course, I may not be able to avoid it altogether. For example, if I see someone who is even older and more infirm than I am carrying a door, I will almost certainly feel duty bound to help them! I will definitely not look the other way. But hey, it may never happen!
I had to lie down till the pain went. Not that it really mattered, because I was thinking of having a lie down anyway.
One of the benefits of being 64 is that you can have a lie down whenever you feel like it, without any untoward comments. In fact people tend to think that having a lie down, is a requirement at my age. To be honest with you, I do tend to spend quite a lot of time in the horizontal. Resting that is. Not like my younger days, when being horizontal was more exciting!
I will of course keep you informed about the x-rays. It's bound to be something really serious! If it isn't, I will look forward to regaling you about the time I had these absolutely excruciating pains in my legs! I know you will find that fascinating.
I'm a martyr to pain you know, but I don't talk about it! I'm not looking for sympathy.
Oh all right then, just this once!