Friday, 28 June 2013

What's Up Doc?

Even though I was feeling so much better, back to full health in fact, I still kept my appointment at the doctor's yesterday. She did all the usual things doctor's do. Checking my blood pressure, listening to my heart with her stethoscope. She even listened all down my back with the stethoscope. Yes my doctor is a woman. Apparently there are quite a few of them about these days. Something to do with equal opportunities I believe. It turns out that after many years of being held back in life, that some women are quite intelligent.

I had to take my clothes off  for the examination. I could see she was really impressed and amazed at my physique.

"My goodness Mr Bain!" she announced breathlessly, as I stepped out of my boxer shorts, "that is really impressive. Have you been working out?"

"No of course not Doc," I answered, flexing my muscles shamelessly for her pleasure, "what you see here is just the way I naturally am. I'm just very lucky I suppose."

She then glanced downward and I heard her give an involuntary little gasp of pure delight. "That is the biggest one I have ever seen," she said,  her voice trembling with excitement," I bet you get lots of comments about it?"

"No not many" I answered, "Not many people get to see it these days."

"Oh such a shame," she said, "it really is beautiful. You ought to show it off more. Would you mind if I took a photo of it?"

How could I refuse after all the nice things she had said about it? So I said yes. It took a while, and a lot of different positions before she was happy with the angle, but in the end she had quite a few snaps of it looking its very best.

What she said about it, made me think I ought to get it out more often, and show it off more, but it seems to me that everyone has a tattoo these days. So even though it is a big beautiful work of art I don't personally think it is anything special anymore so I think I shall continue to keep it hidden. Unless by special request.

Anyway, eventually she remembered what I was there for, managed to compose herself, recover her professionalism, and give me a very thorough medical examination. It turns out that I am a very healthy specimen of a man, apart that is, from a rather fast heartbeat and slightly raised blood pressure. I didn't tell her this was due to her being a very attractive woman. I know one shouldn't think of one's doctor in this way, but the truth is, I never have been able to resist a nicely turned female ankle!



  1. Good news! I am happy you went to see the doctor. Sometimes a professional voice that tells you that you are healthy can cure many ills.

  2. Oh John, you do know how to make me laugh.
    Glad you did go to see the doctor after all.
    I must is a lovely specimen.....lovely indeed.

  3. Unfortunatley, my doctor is a man, and I've watched him over the years turn from a young wipper-snapper into a mature fellow with greying hair now on the verge of middle age.

    Mysteriously, I've not changed at all.....

  4. Good report! Can't say I'm fond of tattoos.