Wednesday, 19 June 2013

A Dirty Phone Call.

This happened years ago, but I only just recalled it last night when I couldn't sleep because of the heat.

We had been getting silent phone calls for a while. When I answered the caller would hang up straight away. When my wife answered there would be a bit of heavy breathing and grunting before she would hang up the phone. The sad person making the calls was becoming bolder every time though and as well as being a nuisance it was all becoming a bit scary. Well it is a weird feeling to think that someone, and probably someone we know, would want to put us through that sort of nastiness just to get their sexual kicks. My wife was becoming wary of answering the phone at all, but of course it has to be answered. I mean it could be a genuine call, such as a family member or our daughter needing picking up from somewhere. In my case these nuisance calls made me really angry and, oh how I would have liked to find out who was behind them. Only so that I could have a quiet word with him, and gently point out the error of his ways.

I was with my wife when the latest nuisance phone call came while were in the kitchen having a cup of tea one afternoon. It so happens that we were expecting a call from our daughter, so we were both caught off guard. My wife, anticipating that it would be our daughter on the end of the line, answered cheerily, "Hello darling."

This time the nuisance caller actually spoke. "Do you know what I'm holding in my hand?" he grunted.

"A telephone," she answered.

"I mean my other hand," he said, "It's long and hard."

"Is it a pencil?" she asked him.

"It's my hard cock," he moaned excitedly.

"Well," said my dear wife, "If you can hold it in one hand I'm not at all interested. Goodbye!" And she hung up the phone.

We never received any more nuisance calls after that. Which was a bit of a shame really. I would have enjoyed seeing how she dealt with the next one. What a woman!


  1. Kudos to her, I couldn't have done better myself.

  2. Good for her. That's the only way to deal with such pests.

    One of my novels is based on naughty callers. Soon to be on Kindle.