Tuesday, 30 April 2013

My Brother Vic.

Tears came this morning as I drove home from the shops. Filled my eyes so bad that I had to pull over. I was thinking of my brother Victor and was overcome with sadness that he is gone.

Nearly twenty years since he died and still it hits me. Out of the blue too. Something must trigger the sad thoughts but I'm buggered if I know what.

What with our dysfunctional family background and all I didn't even get to know him that well. He was seven years older than me. I can only remember fleeting memories of him from my childhood.

He came to visit me once when I was with foster parents, He was a merchant seaman at the time. He bought me a fantastic racing bike. Hand built it was and as light as a feather. I say he bought it, but that's not strictly true. He got it on hire purchase. Vic's idea of hire purchase was, pay a couple of quid down and then change your address. He was a bit of a rogue, my brother was.

Then there was another load of years went by before I saw him again. This time he was in the army. RAOC. Royal Army Ordinance Corp it stands for. I think they deal with purchasing and paying out wages, things like that. He was a barman in the officers mess. The uniform was splendid. (it was safe to wear army uniform when off duty in those days). RAOC. He used to wear his uniform to the local dance hall. Told the girls that RAOC stood for Royal Army Oversea's Commando. The girls loved him. He was a bit of a lad, my brother was.

Always working he was. Hard worker too. He loved to make money. Never passed up the chance to earn a few bob. Multi talented. Turn his hand to anything he would.

He was only 34 when he had his first heart attack. At 41 he had a by-pass operation. They said it would give him another ten years. And that's what he got .Exactly ten years and then he died. 51. It's no age really is it?

He was a real character my brother Vic. I miss him being there. Sometimes, like this morning, I get really sad and the tears come.


  1. Hi John Have just finished a post on families so your post on your brother, Vic is timely. I've shed quite a few tears lately...a life time's worth. Hold on to those lovely memories and special times!

  2. Funny isn't it? You never forget family. I was thinking of my eldest sister this morning and how I wish I could visit with her and have a chat. Hugs Sue

  3. Somehow special people in our lives are always right there on our minds and hearts when we are tripped up by something. Here's a smile for you. :-)

  4. I cry for a brother I never met. He died before I was born...I was born on his birthday, and every birthday I cry for him.
    Jane x

  5. The same thing happened to me on Monday. I was driving in my car and on the car radio came "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" and hearing that had me sobbing as I remembered my mum who was an example of the songs sentiments, so much so she insisted on having it played at her funeral. I very rarely think about her but that hit me in the guts.

  6. So young, too young to die. My Dad was 54 when he died. Like you say, it's no age. It's good that you keep his memory alive in your head, John. So what's a few tears, it's no disgrace to let them fall.

  7. Oh John, sometimes these feelings come out of nowhere.
    I sometimes break down into uncontrollable sobs when thoughts of my brother, mum or dad consume me. One minute, I'll be going along all fine and dandy and the next I'm a slobbery mess.
    It always passes though, so you'll be okay.
    What triggers it, I'll never know, maybe it's their spirits around us, who knows?
    Just be thankful that you have lovely memories of your brother Vic to hold on to.

  8. Thanks for sharing with all of us, John. Your brother Vic obviously holds a very special place on your memories as it should be. Tragic that he died so young and thankful we are all,past that first half decade.

  9. I believe you two would be great friends now; so sorry you missed out on that part of your life.

  10. It seems as if we all have those moments. I cry too for my losses. But I also try to talk as much as possible about my loved ones who are no longer here. My children and grandchildren should be able to know about these people from my memories of them. For instance my mother was the smartest person I ever knew and my mother-in-law was the wisest person I ever knew. What a legacy to pass to my children! I could go on but I will just sit here and remember instead.

  11. I think of loved ones lost as well-at random times. It is sad-but he is still probably watching over you.