Wednesday, 3 April 2013


I'm sorry I haven't been around lately but I have been busy. Busy doing nothing and it has exhausted me. This flu virus cough thing has been a bleedin' nuisance. It comes and goes seemingly at will. Just when you think it has released you from it's virulent grasp, back it comes to knock you down again.. Poor old extremely handsome son George has been hit particularly hard by it. So much so that we did insist he went to the doctor. It's a virus, the doctor says and it could last up to six weeks! He must be in his fifth week now. He did get well enough to return to college for a few days though. George doesn't cope well with illness, like most very fit people I suppose, and I have never known him so grumpy. It was nice to see him back to his usual happy self, even if it was just for a few days. What is going on?

It isn't just feeling unwell that has brought me low. This long dragging on winter has made me tardy too. If it isn't dull and overcast outside, it is raining. If it isn't raining it is freezing. The cold weather has frozen my brain I do believe, and it is working at an even lower rate of knots than usual.

 This morning though, after a somewhat sleepless night, due to coughing. I had a lucid moment. I spoke sharply to myself, "Get out of bed you useless waste of space and get on with your life. Are you going to lie here all morning feeling sorry for yourself?"

"No I bleedin' well ain't." I answered. Yes living on my own I do tend to talk to myself sometimes. And yes when I do talk to myself I do tend to lapse into a cockney dialect. Except when I become Scottish that is. The trouble is having moved about such a lot when younger I can't make up my mind where I come from.

Anyway I did jump out of bed and I did honestly have every intention of getting on with my life. Indeed I did get on with things for a few minutes. But then the cold kicked in and my brain froze again, so I came back inside and lit the fire.

It was while I was sitting by the fire waiting for my brain to thaw out that I suddenly began to think about the wheel. What a wonderful invention I thought and began to list in my rapidly unfreezing brain, all the benefits it has brought to mankind. And then it occurred to me that what I was listing as being beneficial, were in fact, if looked at from another angle, not beneficial at all.

Take roads for instance. What a vast amount of beautiful countryside has been destroyed in order to build them. They are only necessary because some thoughtless prehistoric clown invented the wheel. And roads are only necessary to accommodate all the vehicles that need wheels. Cars, lorries, buses, millions of them, all travelling mile after mile of roads. Roads built from materials dug from vast quarries dug into yet more beautiful countryside. All because of the wheel.

Life without wheels would be great. So quiet and peaceful. There wouldn't be vast cities for a start, Maybe we would all still be living in mud huts. Nothing wrong with that. We wouldn't have to worry about journey times because we wouldn't want to go anywhere. Or if we did perhaps we could travel by river or sea, in boats. How nice and quiet that would be. Or on horseback that would be fine.

Trains? Don't get me started on trains. When was a train ever an effective means of getting anywhere on time? And all those wheels! The railway lines cut and divided the countryside too. Ruined it. Why? Because of wheels.

Wheels. Where would we be without them? Well not here that's for certain. Not sitting here at this computer spouting nonsense like this. Haha I hear you say, that would be a good thing. Yes and that's what I'm getting at. Wheels, who needs them?

Oh but tractors, I forgot about them. Hey wheels aren't all bad!

This has been a frozen brain production by John Bain. Hopefully he will be feeling better again soon.


  1. An educational piece from frozen brain production. Hope you will be up and running soon as there is a challenge next year to prepare for.

  2. Winter has lasted far to long and I had that awful cough for far to long. As for wheels, I am pro-wheels for some form a wheels gets me to my grandsons and back again when I have had my fill. Though to the negative, maybe we would live closer together without you have me doing it!

  3. Feel better again soon....your brain needs it!
    Leave the wheels alone, although I did enjoy reading your narrative quite a for thought though, but hey, get some rest John.

  4. I hate going to a Doctor to only have them tell you it's a virus, because there's not a darn thing you can take to make you feel better. You just have to wait it out and you've wasted good money for someone to tell you that.

  5. Those wheels inside your head are turning again.

  6. I talk to myself, the other me is a Brummie :o) Hope you are feeling better soon.

  7. That 'virus' is hanging on far too long, John, no wonder you're fed-up. I agree about the weather, it's making me feel quite depressed, especially as himself is in Oz and basking in heat. Heehee I've started talking to myself. I have great conversations, usually nothing worth talking about under normal circumstances.

  8. I don't like cars John, but I love the bus (not that we have any), trains and tractors. Some times wish I lived in Thomas Hardy's Wessex. Would have to be a gentleman farmer though.

    Seriously. Did you know there are over 33 million cars in the UK? Frightening!

  9. I read of a good cure/help for a cough, haven't tried it yet myself as it came too late for me, mine has now at last gone, (touch wood) but apparently you chop an onion into very, very small pieces and put it into a small jar, top up with sugar and wait until it goes all syrupy, then take a teaspoonful. When it starts going down just add more sugar.
    Can't do any harm ( unless your diabetic) and it might just do some good. I shall try it next time I have a cough.
    I think we're all fed up this winter, especially if you like the outdoors but THEY whoever they are say its nearly at an end so keep your chin up John.
    Love this post by the way.

  10. You are not the only one to have a cough lingering on, John, ot that it's any consolation to you or EHS George, and glad he is feeling somewhat better -- and you as well. In our area, coughing has been going on for weeks. On a recent visit to our nurse practitioner (we don't see a doctor by choice) she did not recommend any meds but said time would be the sure. Not comforting news, but there it is. And your frozen brain did get off on an interesting topice that went round and round it seems.