I am republishing this post because it disappeared completely first time around. Apart from that things seem back to normal. Thank you for all your comments on the experimental post yesterday. Sorry some of you don't like my header photo I will change it soon.
These days a lot of importance is placed on the need to start the day with a healthy, nourishing breakfast. Healthy and nourishing? Do those two words really go together? Well yes they do, and today I am going to let you know why. Because today, I am going to share with you, the secret of what it is that keeps my body at the peak of physical perfection, and imbues me with the complexion of youth, minus the acne of course, and boils. Oh, and all those little spots they get in the middle of their foreheads.
Please follow these step by step instructions in order to gain the maximum benefit from my secret menu, or recipe, whichever it is. Perhaps both. It doesn't matter, I am feeling generous.
Finish off your breakfast with strawberries and cream. Yes I know, it is different. I found these strawberries at half price and they need to be eaten quickly, as they are on the turn. Somewhere in the fridge you will find a half empty, or half full, depending on your point of view, carton of cream. You may need to soften this with hot water, if it has gone hard. Dunk strawberries in the cream and dip into a plate of sugar. You might want to replace the sugar with salt if you are Scottish. Try to stop eating the strawberries before you begin to feel sick. I know this is difficult, but remember we are trying to be healthy.
When eating alone it is perfectly acceptable to use a tabloid newspaper as a table cloth. However, if sharing breakfast with an overnight guest, - well a man can dream, - why not use an upmarket newspaper instead. You can usually find one amongst a more affluent neighbours rubbish.
Remember, when preparing food, always wash your hands afterwards. Now tuck in and enjoy!