Thursday, 4 August 2011

The Consequence Of An Afternoon Nap.

"Hurry you two, if you want to see this." I was excited as I cried out to them. They both turned to look at me.
"What's up, what's happening?" Called back my friend, who's name I don't know.
"It's frogs," I answered, "lots of them, quickly you two."
The older of the two men shouted back something but I didn't hear what he said, because he was hammering the wheel back onto the railway wagon, and I still had my wax ear plugs in.
"Hurry up," I urged, "or they'll all be gone."
My friend who's name I didn't know, never had known actually, but I was certain he was interested in frogs, eventually came sauntering up.
"Where are they?" He sounded bored.
"Just over there on that barrel. Hundreds of them. What about the old bloke, doesn't he want to see them?"
"No, he's seen a frog before."
We ran over to the barrel. I was sad to see that most of the frogs had gone, and there were only three or four left. I felt a bit embarrassed, "sorry about this. There's not many left."
He pointed to a big frog, "that is not a frog," he stated emphatically. "That my friend is a lizard. Can't you see it's long tail?"
I did take a good look, and I had to agree with him. It was a lizard. It must have been hiding among all the frogs.
"Not only is it a lizard," he went on, "but it is a deadly venomous lizard. One bite from that, and you my friend, are dead."
Quickly I took out of my pocket a brown paper bag, and attempted to coax the lizard into it.
"That won't work," he said scornfully, "that lizard will be out of there in two seconds flat."
Just as he said it the lizard dashed into the bag, thrashed about madly, dashed out again, and threw itself off the barrel top, and onto the ground.
Amazingly the lizard changed into a beautiful woman before my very eyes. I was certain that I knew her from somewhere. "Excuse me Miss," I said, "but don't I know you from somewhere?"
She smiled at me. "Do you still want to take me to the cinema?"
Even though I knew that she might turn back into a poisonous lizard at any moment, I realised that I should not miss this opportunity to date such a truly beautiful woman.
Somehow in the excitement of the moment she and I got separated in the cinema. By the time she found me again I was well and truly stuck in an extremely narrow stairwell. She rushed to get help.
The attendant who came to my aid was very kind, and wore a peaked cap. He brought me a cup of tea and a chocolate marshmallow biscuit, my favourite, whilst he went in search of a screwdriver. Unfortunately he left the tea and biscuit just out of my reach.
Due to the stress I was under, my desire to drink the tea became a matter of life and death. I was desperate. As I struggled to reach them I was lucky enough to free myself, and shot out of the narrow stairwell like a cork from a bottle.
I woke up on the floor with the duvet wrapped tight around me.


  1. That was some dream. I'm sure some analyst somewhere could have a great time interpreting it.

  2. Oh my word, what on earth did you eat before you took that nap that had you in the midst of such a bizarre dream?

  3. Megadream, and how did you interpret it?

  4. I think you live dangerously... and all ladies are poisonous lizards... good think I'm no lady.