I have held back from revealing the information I am about to tell you. I have held back because what I have to tell you, might well cause you to reflect on your opinion of me. Might even cause you to question my masculinity!
However, after much thought, and soul searching I have finally decided to bite the bullet. To come clean. To confess. To reveal all!
My dear, dear friends. Are you sitting down? Please I beg you, forgive me when I tell you: I have a teddy bear!
|This is Inky Purvis. My teddy bear.|
But wait, you dear people. It gets worse. Nay! Nay! I hear you cry, please spare us. But I have to go on. I have to!
I actually bought my teddy bear myself! I went into a shop and purchased a teddy bear! Not as a gift for someone else. Oh no! I bought the teddy bear for myself! Yes I know. Unbelievable!
Twenty three years I have owned him. Twenty three years!
It was so sudden. I walked past the shop window, and there he was. Sitting forlornly, staring out at all the passers by. How many people must he have seen that day? Possibly thousands. Yet he called to me. He chose me. He stopped me in my tracks. Made me enter that shop, and made me hand over twenty quid of my hard earned money. I had no choice in the matter. It just happened. Just like that.
He is sitting behind me now as I write. In his usual place on the shelf, from where he can see everything that goes on.
His name is Inky Purvis. He is my teddy bear. I am exceedingly fond of him. He knows everything. But he won't tell! Never!