A Hot Lesbian Lady Comes To Call.

This is a transcript, as best I can remember, of a telephone conversation with my sister Marian. It took place years ago, but it stuck in my memory for some reason. I can't imagine why! I think I may have mentioned before that my relatives are, or were, quite nuts!

It's ringing...

"Hello."

"Hi Marian. It's me."

"Hello."

"Marian it's me, John."

"Hello."

"HELLO MARIAN. CAN YOU HEAR ME?"

"Hello."

"MARIAN YOU ARE HOLDING THE PHONE UPSIDE DOWN!"

"Hello. If you don't speak I will hang up and call the police."

 "MARIAN! YOU ARE SPEAKING INTO THE WRONG END..."  

"There is no need to shout. I'm not deaf."

"Sorry. You had the phone upside down I was shouting to make you hear me."

"There's nothing to tell me which end to speak into. Phones used to have a proper mouthpiece. This one looks the same at both ends."

"The cable is at the end you talk into."

"Never said anything about cables in the instructions."

"Oh well, you know now. Anyway, how are you?"

"I'm well enough."

"That's good. What you been up to? Anything interesting?"

"Well actually, since you ask, I have been thinking about becoming a lesbian."

"What!"

"I might become a lesbian."

"Marian. You can't suddenly decide to be a lesbian. You are either a lesbian or not a lesbian. What's brought this on?"

"I hate men."

"Just because you hate men, doesn't mean you have to become a lesbian. Lesbians are not all man haters. Marian, for God's sake you're 70 years old. How long have you had these tendencies?"

"Since yesterday."

"Well that hasn't given you much time to think it through has it? What happened yesterday to make you want to be a lesbian?

"I saw the advert and called them."

"Who?"

"The hot lesbian phone line."

"You mean the lesbian hot line."

"That's what I said"

"And what did they say, the lesbian hot line?"

"They are sending someone to visit me."

"When?"

"Saturday. They can't come any sooner. There's a shortage of visitors. I don't think this is a very lesbian area. But I told them Saturday would be OK. I don't mind waiting a few days."

"Well you will keep me informed about what happens won't you Marian? I'm intrigued. I shall phone you Saturday evening."

"If you like. Who are you?"

"It's me. John, your little brother."

"Oh hi John!"

"Bye Marian. Talk to you soon."

"Bye John."
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On the Saturday I spoke to Marian again. After the visit, she had changed her mind about becoming a lesbian. Instead she was going to join the local church choir. She hadn't changed her mind about men though. She still hated them!