He's been reading that newspaper for long enough now. I intend to sit here with my head resting on his knee and looking at him with my big soulful eyes until he puts the paper down, and notices me.... Alright then this is not working. I shall poke my nose up under the paper and give it a bit of a nudge.
"SADIE! Oh for God's sake. Now look what you've done."
Not my fault. How was I supposed to know he had a mug of tea in his hand? I'll lick it off the floor. Save him a job.
He's still tetchy. No need to glare at me John. I'll lie down and put my paws over my eyes. That'll calm him down a bit. I really don't know why he shouts at me. It only makes him feel guilty.
What's he eating? Is it a doughnut? It is a doughnut. I'm entitled to a bit of doughnut after being shouted at like that. I'll try the German Shepherd whine, big soulful eyes combination. Never fails.
"No Sadie! Go away. You are not having any. It's not good for you."
Not good for me. What a nerve he's got. He has just eaten three jam doughnuts with sugar on and he says they're not good for me. Oh, but I suppose eating jam doughnuts for breakfast is good for you, is it Mr health conscious? What happened to the oatmeal and blueberries you're always telling everyone you have for breakfast? Alright then if you are going to continue to behave so selfishly I will go and eat the cats food.
Well that got his attention. Now I shall have to listen while he tells me I will not be getting any dinner this evening. Because I am just a greedy dog who has no respect for Bonnie's needs. He's right there. I haven't.
"Right! No dinner for you tonight. You are so greedy Sadie. No! Don't give me the hangdog look. What is Bonnie going to eat now eh?"
That cat gets far too much attention if you ask me. Besides, if she leaves food in her dish what does she expect?
He's putting his boots on. This looks promising. Could be a walk. I'll try a little bit of a hopeful whine.
"Shut up Sadie. You're not my friend."
Hmm.. Still a bit grumpy then. I'll try the waving a paw routine. See if I can jolt him out of it.
"What are you doing now? Gimme a paw then. Come on shake hands. Clever girl."
That's better. Works every time. Now hurry up and tie those bootlaces. In case you have forgotten we didn't have a walk yesterday because of continous heavy rain. I have a lot of catching up to do.
"Where's your lead Sadie? Find it. Find your lead."
Why do we always have to go through the find your lead rigmorale. He knows perfectly well that I have a tendency to get over excited at walk time. Next thing you know he will be telling me to calm down.
"CALM DOWN SADIE!"
What did I tell you. It's the same every time.
"Sadie. Come. Sit."
No I am not going to sit. Sorry.
I'm not going to sit.
John. In case you have not noticed. We are standing in a big puddle of muddy water. Would you sit in it. No you wouldn't. Well, not unless you had just got back from the pub. But perhaps best not to mention that incident.