Tuesday, 7 February 2012

Warmer, Colder, Warmer, Colder.

The newspapers and television are full of it. Britain is in the grip of a battle between weather fronts. From the Atlantic there is a warm front in place over half of the UK. From the east a cold front has locked into place. It is right slap bang down the middle of the country. Half of us are having a mild spell. The other half are freezing.

On the outward leg of my walk today with Sadie the German Shepherd, I was heading south. Now I know that you are going to find this hard to believe, but in fact I was walking directly down the line of the warm and cold fronts. I know this for certain because my left ear was very cold and my right ear was basking in what in comparison felt like a tropical sun!

Fortunately for me, I was able to use my phenomenal brain power to devise a plan to combat the problem. What I did was, I walked backwards until my cold ear felt warmer, and then turned around again, to regain feeling in my other ear. Using this method I managed to complete the walk in comfort. Apart from the times I tripped whilst walking backward.

On the homeward leg of our walk, heading north, I had an even better idea, and simply walked two paces to my left. Thereby avoiding the cold front altogether! Unbelievable as all this may seem, I know it to be true, because I arrived home with two warm ears.

You might be thinking: That man has gone completely crazy! You are probably right. These ideas just pop in to my head. Sorry about that!

I have just finished this self portrait. It was while I was on the walk today that I realised I am sixty four and a half years old. I have titled this painting 'self portrait with woolly hat and reading glasses. Age sixty four and a half exactly '.

It's me that is sixty four and a half exactly, not the woolly hat! I don't know how old the hat is.

I think I do look a bit crazy in this painting. Perhaps I should get out more. Avoiding conjunctions between weather fronts, obviously!


  1. You are full of great ideas to protect yourself from the elements!

    The self-portrait is excellent.

  2. You must have looked a sight on your walk! Nothing wrong with being a little crazy...it keeps you sane! A most entertaining post, John! Long live your craziness!

  3. Like your header and self portrait of crazy man. I'd stick to the warm front side of the line .

  4. Wow, you not only can carved but paint too? You are indeed talented. Once I was standing in the border line between a raining and non raining area. I was at a bus stop many years ago and notice people coming from my left walk pass me with wet umbrellas and when I turn my head to the left I noticed just about a feet from where I was standing it was raining but from the point where I was standing to the far right, not a drop of rain. I call this witnessing a little miracle. Hope lot of miracles happen to you too. happy blogging and walking and carving and painting and ...............

  5. Paul (http://glossaryking.blogspot.com) is having some technical difficulties tonight. He has tagged you in his latest blog entry :-).

  6. Doesn't matter which way I turn, the ears stay cold. Yes, we're the ones with bitterly cold weather. Love the self portrait.... it looks so you, if you know what I mean.

  7. What a good idea, I must try that when out walking next time.
    I love the self portrait and as for age, it matters not, I am 66 in March and only look 25 (without my glasses on) lol

  8. That's a fantastic painting of yourself, John! Just go on and enjoy many more years to come..

  9. Very witty John! I enjoy reading your posts. This one slightly seems true! ;) The portrait does look like you - so I think it is really well done!