Wednesday, 18 January 2012

Twelve Old Pennies! Quite a Heavy Weight.

Mannie was another foster parent of mine during my difficult hormonally touchy teens. Did you notice that? I am blaming my hormones for my childhood rigours. Well it feels kind of nice to give my poor benighted Mother a bit of a rest from my vituperative written retribution. As I have said before, it wasn't all her fault. Life sometimes deals out a bad hand. She just happened to be sitting at the wrong table, at the wrong crap game. A proper 'crap' shuffle on that occasion.

Where was I? Yes, Mannie, a foster father. In his younger days Mannie managed to scrape together a living of sorts as a fairground boxer. He was a bit of a bullshitter, but he showed me photos of himself at the boxing booth, so I know his claims to be true. When I first met him in his seventies he was still a pugnacious little character, and he had that boxers face. A kind of a battered handsome look.

He told me, that he had spent most of his life as a showman, living in a wagon and traveling all over with funfairs. I wish I could have got him to open up a bit about his life, but he didn't seem to have a lot to say about it, except what a good boxer he had been, and how successful he had been with the ladies.

The old pennies were one and a quarter inches across and heavy.
Boxing and sex! These were his main interests. He taught me a bit of boxing. As for sex, well he spoke about it a lot, but I never learnt anything from him on that subject, except how good he once was at it.

He once confided to me, that he had a very large penis. In his heyday, he was able to balance twelve pennies on it. In a line!

Now I am unable to confirm if this was true or not, because at the time he told me this remarkable fact, he also told me wistfully, and with a genuine sadness in his voice, that he was now down to eight pennies!


  1. A pity you didn't get to know your foster dad better. A lot of people of that generation were not good at communicating at an interactive level!

  2. Amazing! Sounds like an interesting character.
    Love the header painting, John.

  3. I absolutely love the header picture. Is it a self-portrait or someone else? It is one of your best. Mannie sounds like quite a character. I found it interesting that you did not mention your feelings for him.

  4. Mannie sounds like quite a guy. :)

  5. I dont think I would want to meet,
    A man who could perform this feat.
    It really would be quite a job,
    To accommodate a 'bob'
    and to finish in this manner,
    I'd be happier with a 'tanner'.

  6. Glad you like the portrait Emma. It is nobody I actually know, but is inspired by a memory of an old black and white photo.
    I was very fond of Mannie. He was a kindly man.

  7. Mannie must have been quite a guy in his day. It sounds like being a bit of a bullshitter was kind of important for the line of work he was in. I always liked people like that.

  8. Thank God I'm not a man.

    Having a penis must be like being handcuffed to a maniac.

    Most men appear to think that their todger is their identity, (sweeping generalisation I know)
    they don't realise that the lump of highly prized gristle is just a's their brain that's the important bit.

    The trouble starts when they think with todger instead of brain.


  9. Hahahahah!!! Normally, I'd say 'now that's something I'd like to see' when told something amazing, but in this case I'm not so sure!!

    I remember those old pennies. Yep, you really knew you had money in your pocket in those days.