I was thinking about telling you of a particularly nasty house mother from my childhood. She caused me pain. Both mental and physical. Not just me. All of us kids in her 'care' were traumatised I believe. There are so many things from my childhood. Bad things. They have been in my mind a lot recently. I blame these things for the down sides of my life. I blame these thoughts for my somewhat miserable mood swings lately. Move on John, I tell myself. For God's sake move on! It's been 60 bloody years! Let it go! Let it go!
Most of the time I do let it go. But I'm a writer. The idea formulates, and I begin to compose the words in my mind. That's where the problem lies.
I'm not going to write about her I've decided. Not today at least. She can wait for another day. I have been miserable enough this week.
I found this old photograph in a book. It is the harbour in Hugh Town, Isles of Scilly. We often holiday there. I have made a painting of it. Thought you might like to see how the painting developed. I am pleased with this painting, and it certainly improved my mood, as I thought of the lovely times I have had there with my extremely handsome son George, who will be eighteen years old on Friday.
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| A scary blank canvas. |
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| Get rid of the white. |
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| Here we go! |
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| Rough sketch with a brush. |
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| Give it a dramatic sky. |
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| Do not copy slavishly. |
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| Add your own touch. |
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The finished work. All there is to do now is varnish it and sell it! Hopefully!
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Hope you like it. See you again soon. Hope you are well, and very importantly, happy.
PS I have no idea why the writing changed colour up there. But I shall leave it as it is, because I think it looks good!
Forgive the past and keep writing,drawing,and painting. You are good.
ReplyDeleteBe Happy!
Beautiful painting John. I also liked the other one that was the recent header.
ReplyDeleteKeep channelling your life into your art.
You have a great talent. Thanks for taking us through the process of your painting! Sorry that you have such great hurts from the past but I can empathise as I have my own! Expressing these hurts through writing or like me through songs is extremely therapeutic!
ReplyDeleteYour talent is wonderful to see and read. Count your blessings and be proud of who you are. Birthday greetings to your extremely handsome son George.
ReplyDeleteA lovely painting, don't stop, just keep painting. That's what you are meant to do. Ilona X
ReplyDeleteThat's fascinating, I loved seeing how the painting progressed. Many happy returns to your extremely handsome son, George, for tomorrow. My mum lived in a children's home when she was young and also had a terrible experience at the hands of the woman who ran the home. It's so sad to think of all the children who suffered at the hands of these tyrants who should never have been given jobs with children.
ReplyDeleteI am always amazed that a person can put down on paper the world around him/her (not implying that you are a him/her or a her/him...oh look what you've made me do....going all politically uncorrect!!!) Anyway, your talent amazes me.
ReplyDeleteJane x
The past does have a way of creeping into our thoughts when we let our guard down. Good for you putting it aside and going with a happy memory painting. I like seeing the different stages and the finished painting is wonderful
ReplyDeleteDo you find it a little easier to deal with all those terrible feelings from your childhood after you have written about them? My view of many things that we have a problem with is that we have so many things rolling around inside our heads that we can't sort through them. Saying those things out loud or writing them down puts them in front of us and we can make more sense of them. Then we can deal with them and they will no longer be part of that chaos that is stuck inside our heads. I am not sure if that came out making any sense at all but I will stand by it.
ReplyDeleteMakes perfect sense Emma. Writing things down is definitely therapeutic.
ReplyDelete