Someone asked me, as I was queuing to buy my lottery ticket, what I would buy if I won millions of pounds? I didn't even have to think about it. I have dreamed of it so many times: I would buy a shed!
Yes I know, pathetic aren't I? Mind you, it would not just be any old shed. Oh no. I'm talking proper shed here. Oak framed of course, and cedar clad. With a roof of shingles. It would be insulated with sheeps wool, and it would be lined inside with oak panels.
I would have a beautiful cleaning woman, sorry cleaning person come in every day, just to make certain that everything is kept absolutely spotless. It goes without saying obviously, that I would pay the cleaning woman, sorry cleaning person, an extremely good wage for her, sorry, their, work.
I hope you have noticed my efforts to be politically correct. To that end, I ought to mention that the cleaning woman does not necessarily have to be beautiful, or indeed a woman! Although if she was beautiful, and a woman that would be nice. But let me make it absolutely clear, that the job would be open for anyone to apply for. Not just beautiful women. If a beautiful women did actually get the job, it would be purely based on her suitability for the work. Absolutely nothing to do with me hoping to have a relationship with her!
The best tools and materials deserve to be worked by craftsmen, sorry, craftspersons, of the highest calibre. So I would employ only the best people to do all the work for me. There are a lot of very talented women doing craftwork in these enlightened times. So I expect that it is very likely that I would employ a women. Not necessarily beautiful either. Although maybe probable.
Yes indeed, my new shed would be the best shed ever built!
Mind you, there would not be a lot left for me to do inside it. So I would probably forget about it, and go off and spend most of my millions, on wine, women, and song! I would most likely just squander the rest!
In order to remain politically correct, I suppose a percentage of my money would have to be spent on men! Although this would only go as far as buying them a drink.
Hmm.. you know, on reflection, all the high living would probably be the death of me. I don't think I'll bother with the shed. What's the point!
It was just a dream. A crazy pipe dream!