Ultimately, And In The Scheme Of Things, Quite Pleased, Considering.

Made it back OK after my change from Windows xp. I am now on something different. I have been different, properly different, since about 4-30 this afternoon. It is taking a bit of getting used to, but then I suppose it would do, what with it being different an' all.

Usually in the morning when I switch this machine on I have to wait for it to warm up. I have time to put the kettle on, feed Mia the German Shepherd, do my ablutions, get dressed, let the hens out, take Mia the GS for a walk down to the village shop to buy a newspaper, do the vacuuming, have a couple of rounds of hot buttered toast and do the washing up. By which time the computer is sometimes ready to work. But now all I have to do, is switch on and thirty seconds later I'm online. It's that fast.

OK look, I lied about doing the vacuuming. Sorry. And the washing up. Sorry again. OK OK so I don't always walk down to the village shop either. Sometimes I do. Once in a blue moon. Sorry. Sincerely.

I was really pleased when I realised that what I now have is Windows 7 Ultimate. Windows 7 Ultimate. Ultimate. It was the word ultimate that gave me such pleasure. I mean, ultimate, you can't get better than having the ultimate version of something can you?

Here's proof for you. ultimate. adj. 1 being or happening at the end of a process; final. 2 being the best or most extreme example of its kind. (the ultimate) the best of its kind that is imaginable.

John the computer wizard in what he thinks is an intelligent pose.

So I says to John, my computer wizard friend, I says, "I'm really pleased to have Windows 7 Ultimate, cos obviously being the ultimate it can't be bettered."

"Well," he says, stretching the word out, "weeeel, there is Windows 8."

"WHAT?" I spluttered loudly. Spluttered, because I was so shocked.

"Windows 8," he repeated, "but you wouldn't want that, not for your needs. No, Windows 7 Ultimate is plenty good enough for you." And with that, he changed the subject and began to make a fuss of Mia the German Shepherd. "Give me a paw Mia," he said to her. "She's very intelligent isn't she?" he said to me when she obliged.

I was too shell shocked to answer. I felt cheated. It said Ultimate. It was there on the bloody screen. Ultimate. ULTI-BLOODY-MATE!

It's not right. Not right at all. You just can't go bandying words around willy nilly like that.

So what I've actually got is Windows 7 and a flagrant downright bloody lie!

I shall be writing to Microsoft first thing in the morning to complain. I don't expect a satisfactory reply though. Because ultimately, it appears, they can say anything they like. After all it's only words.

All that aside though. It's great to be back. Thanks for waiting. And thank you John for your patience and help.