Wednesday, 23 January 2013

Too Many Wives.

There was an article in the paper today about a bloke whose wife had left him. Apparently, according to her at least, he had not been paying her enough attention. Neglecting his husbandly duties in the bedroom, was the thing that finally made up her mind to leave him.

He was a bit upset that she had left, but not overly so, because he still had his other six wives living with him!

Still, I can understand he would be a bit annoyed. I mean her leaving like that meant that he had one night a week when he had no one to sleep with. Of course if it had been me I would have asked one of the other wives to do a double shift. After all how could the poor bloke be expected to sleep on his own, even for one night? Life can be so unfair at times, especially to men.

You might be somewhat surprised to hear that I am in bed on my own tonight. But it is true. I have sent my wives away for the night. We haven't fallen out, it is just that I have been taking such good care of them all recently that I really need to recharge my batteries. Oh blimey! When I say recharge my batteries that is simply a figure of speech. Obviously any woman married to a man of my bedroom prowess has no need of marital aids, battery operated or otherwise.

What's that you say? You didn't realise I was polygamous? Oh yes it's true. I have to be. I have, to put it delicately, a very high drive. One woman wouldn't be able to cope. So I, being a gentleman, chose the polygamous lifestyle. The fact that many women find me irresistible also had a major influence on this decision. I hate to let any of them down you see. Unselfish to a fault, that's me.

Oh no! I have done it again. Allowed my imagination to run away with itself. I am so sorry. What happened was that having read the newspaper article I got to thinking. I got to thinking that it would be nice to have a wife for everyday of the week. I mean just think. No more having to put up with the 'I have a headache' excuse ever again. All that would happen would be, give her a couple of aspirin and ask her to send the next one in.

Yes I know, I'm a very sad man. All I thought of was the sexual side of things. Never gave a thought to the practicalities involved in having seven wives. Things like having to buy them lots of sexy lingerie a bigger house for instance, and the financial side of things. Crikey I would have to work! Mind you, believe it or not, the bloke in the article was unemployed. He lives with all those wives and he is on benefits! Although come to think of it, if you have lots of wives, you wouldn't want to waste energy on working, would you?

Anyway I have calmed down a bit now, and come to my senses. The whole idea of all those seven wives would in reality be horrendous. But the real thing that gave me the most cause for concern, was the thought of having to put up with seven mothers-in-law. Horrendous!

I think I shall just stick with the three I have!











13 comments:

  1. Oh good God...the thought of seven husbands...all those socks strewn around the place.
    Jane x

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ha ha... you are as busy as you can handle with the dog and cat and your museum

    ReplyDelete
  3. Polygamous. Isn't that when you can write equally well with either leg? Wish I could.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I've heard it said that one should stick to what one is good at!
    I'm here laughing and almost choking since I was having my morning glass of juice...thanks for the laugh John.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Jeez, the thought of six or seven husbands makes me feel thankful that I have only one. But dream on, John... if it helps....

    ReplyDelete
  6. That would be quite a cat fight if they all had PMS at the same time... MeeOooW!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Replies
    1. Crikey Jerry! Is that a first?
      I have listened to your story telling by the way. Really enjoyable and I like your style.

      Delete
  8. John, your vivid imagination is working on overload now. Be careful what you dream about.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I have read that there are many benefits to members of a polygamous relationship. Blamed if I an see any. Catering to all those people is too much work. I do not want even a monogamous relationship. Sex is nice but after that... go away.

    ReplyDelete
  10. You are indeed a role model to all mankind. I am glad to see you haven't lost it. Your wagon looks a lot different to when I visited you. Looks almost buried! I'll go back to the beach and have another swim with my one partner. I look with admiration at your male prowess. By the way I am still at http://seasonsfullcircle.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. You do ave a wonderfully vivid imagination, John. But all those wives would also be draining on your free time.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hahahaha, thanks for sharing your thoughts and wild imagination. Really love your sense of humor. Missed so many of your post, will try to catch up soon. Happy blogging to you

    ReplyDelete