"Hallo. This is John Bain sex guru and associated gynacological services."
"Hi John it's Yola."
"Hi Yola. How are you?"
"I'm fine John. More importantly how are you?"
"Yeah I'm great thanks Yola."
"Are you keeping warm enough John?"
"Yeah I'm fine."
"Have you got your fire lit?"
"No the fire is useless I can't be bothered to light it."
"You must be freezing John."
"No I'm fine really. I have got lots of clothes on. I'm quite snug."
"Well make sure you keep warm won't you?"
"Yeah of course. I'm pretty tough you know."
"You can't be too careful in this cold weather John. Take care of yourself. I am making a risotto for dinner tonight. Would you like to come and have dinner with us?"
Thanks Yola. That sounds like a great idea."
"OK then. I shall give you a shout when it's ready. See you later, and keep warm!"
"Looking forward to it. See you later. Bye."
Yola is my nearest neighbour. She is a professional cook and she makes the most tasty meals imaginable. The back of her house is just a few yards from my boundary.
It was after she had put the phone down that the revelation suddenly hit me. In the abbreviated text speak of a young person. OMG! WTF! Yola was phoning me to check I was all right and keeping warm. OMG! She was making sure her elderly neighbour, moi, was OK in the cold weather. WTF!
The risotto was delicious. So tasty. I think it was butterbean squash -whatever that is- with bacon and chorizo and spinach and all sorts of lovely ingredients. We also had several glasses of a very nice South African Sauvignon Blanc.
Quite right too. If you are going to look out for your elderly neighbours well being, it should be done properly I say. Thanks Yola.
Er, before you ask, Yola already has a bloke. He does martial arts!
I hope you are all keeping warm in this cold weather, or if you're from sunnier climes, keeping cool.
See you later.
PS. This old guy is going sledging tomorrow!
PPS. My main PC has been fixed. Hopefully I will be able to collect it from the repair man tomorrow. I hope to be putting photos back on this blog soon.