The bicycle was invented centuries ago by a young bloke called Wally, who felt sorry for those people who were unable to get their heads around the concept of the internal combustion engine. Internal combustion at that time was common parlance for the condition known today as severe flatulence. In those days, before reading and writing was invented you could only have a motor vehicle if you invented it yourself and it was powered by self-generated gas.
Originally, Wally had intended his invention to be called a cycle but due to political correctness - which was going around in cycling circles – going around in circles, cycling circles… That sounds funny. ‘Raindrops keep falling on my head’. Yeah, well, anyway, political correctness decreed that it should be called a bi-cycle. This was so people who couldn’t decide if they were gay or just brightly coloured had an equal chance to buy one.
Wally later found world fame when he invented waterproof puddles for Her Majesty the Queen to tread in. Soon after this invention Her Majesty was obliged one day to make use of it during a downpour and Wally -bless him- was knighted and became that special person we all know and love, Sir Walter Raleigh. Sir Walter later invented the wheel thereby making the bicycle even more popular.
Sadly, Sir Walter Raleigh was tragically killed when a bicycle pump he was inventing blew up and took his head off.