Saturday, 10 January 2015

And They Say Nothing Exciting Ever Happens In The Village.

The emergency services were called out last night when during the strongest winds of this year a plastic dustbin belonging to the Smith family of Foundry Road Yapton was blown away. After an extensive search involving two police sniffer dogs the bin was later discovered more than ten yards away in next doors front garden. Council workers, who were sent to recover the bin had to return empty handed when one of the men was seen without his high visibility jacket. The man is question has been suspended from duty while Health and Safety officers investigate.

Mrs Smith, who it later turned out had only the day before washed out the bin with a mixture of Jeyes fluid and warm water was treated for shock in St Richards Hospital. She was allowed home after treatment.

None of the family were available for comment due to legal reasons. A neighbour, Mrs Muriel Perkins aged 63, divorced, of 11 Foundry Road who asked to remain anonymous, said later that a similar thing involving Mrs Smith’s mother, the late Gladys Smith, had happened in the early 1960’s. She said it was a tragic coincidence that such an event could strike twice in the same family.

A police spokesman speaking shortly after the event urged householders to pay close attention to weather forecasts. He said people become complacent, they think it couldn’t happen to them.

The dustbin lid, a green plastic one is still missing. There have been no reported sightings.


  1. A shocking turn of events. And in such a small village. It just goes to show that you cannot be sure of safety anywhere. I certainly hope Mrs. Smith has completely recovered from her ordeal.

  2. I just realized that the late Gladys Smith (interesting that Mrs Smith married a man with the same surname) died as the earth moved for her. She led an exciting life.

    1. Well Emma, Mrs Smith married her cousin John Smith. It happened a lot in English villages before the invention of the car. The tradition still continues in some areas to this day.

  3. A green disk was sighted flying at low altitude over California during our recent high winds, followed by an escort of Air Force fighter jets. Witnesses say it trailed an odor of creosote and iodine. By the time it got this close to the coast, I found it necessary to open our front and back gates to let it and the jets through. My ears are still ringing, and that smell cured my hay fever. I've been chasing UFO enthusiasts off the property ever since. Thanks for a causal account more credible than the official designation of "swamp gas".

  4. Oh, John, is it safe living where you do?

  5. I don't think I can top Valerie's comment. Goods enter and leave our property all the time. If I don't pick them up, they'll move on to visit someone else soon.

  6. I am thankful to live in my safe haven! You might need to consider emigrating to N.Z.