Hallo.

Hallo,

I see it has been three weeks since I last blogged. That is a record length of time for me. It is about time I said hallo, so here I am. Do you say hallo or hello. I normally spell it with an a, but blogger always underlines that in red, so I suppose they want me to spell it with an e.

Posh people say hello. I'm not posh so I say hallo. Try it for yourself. The Queen says hello and she is definitely posh.

If you want to shout a greeting from a distance it is better in my opinion to shout "HALLO" with an a. It carries further.

To attract someone's attention from a distance though, perhaps it is better to shout "OI". Although if you do this, everyone in the vicinity will turn around wondering who you are calling to. Also please bear in mind that shouting "OI" to someone can sound quite bad mannered. It is impossible to shout "OI" without it sounding rather harsh. In fact "OI" is not a very pleasing way to address anyone without causing offence. The only time to use the word "OI" in my opinion is when attempting to apprehend a burglar or anyone else engaged in nefarious activity.

Further thought has now led me to believe that "OI" is not a greeting at all. I don't know how it crept into this little missive.

I have to go now because Mia the German Shepherd is waiting to eat her lunch. I spoil that dog! I just popped by to say hallo, and to wish you well.

Hallo.

This Is Quite Alarming.

I had a dream last night about a book I am currently reading. In my dream I became the central character in the book, but the weird thing is there were two of me. One me was quite a nice bloke and the other me was a nasty type. The two of us were constantly arguing with each other about all the money we were earning. There were a couple of love interests in the book and it was the same in my dream. It all got very confusing so I decided it would be better if I woke up.

However just before I woke up I took off my belt and found myself hitting a woman who had not featured in the dream previously, across her pert little bottom. She was happily allowing me to do this. I was only hitting her very gently though, and she was wearing a pair of tight fitting combat trousers - I'm not a weirdo - and she said if I wasn't going to do it properly I might just as well wake up and stop wasting her time.

Then my alarm clock went off and I woke up. The thing is, and this is the honest truth, I have never been interested in this type of kinkiness in my life. I can't even blame the book I'm reading, because there was nothing like this behaviour in it.

I hardly ever use an alarm clock to wake me up. I only set it this time because I was having a load of firewood delivered early. I am quite annoyed that I used the alarm clock. I would have loved to find out more about the woman, what with her being so mysterious. I would have asked her what she was doing barging into my dream like that. But on the plus side perhaps it's just as well I did set the alarm clock. I mean I might have developed an unhealthy interest in sado-masochism, and that would never do, not at my age. I have to look after my heart!

Tonight I am not going to set the alarm. Maybe the dream will come back. Not that I'm at all interested in that type of thing.