Tuesday, 18 March 2014

Human Powered Flight Of Fancy.

Just imagine if you could fly. If we could all fly. Wouldn't that be great? I'm not talking aircraft here. We can all do that. No I mean if we all had hollow bones and wings. Wouldn't that be marvellous?

Perhaps best not to have our wings permanently sticking out though. Perhaps they could be foldable? Maybe they could somehow be incorporated into the underside of our upper arms? Some people, women in particular, already have wings at the back of their upper arms don't they. I believe they call them bingo wings. Why they call them bingo wings I have no idea. But I do know they get into a bit of a flap when they discover they have them. Anyway bingo wings are too heavy and flappy to take off with. Flappy? That's why they call them wings. But bingo? Well that's got me beat.

This current craze for tattoo's that young women have these days. That is going to look great if they develop bingo wings in later life. For an example take one of them little dolphin tattoos. In a few years that is going to look like a whale. A huge whale flapping about on the underside of the arm. Really it is best to think these things through. Another thing is that tattoos do not look better with age. They start to look very smudgy. I have a tattoo that I got when I was seventeen and very drunk. It is so misshapen and smudgy that I can't even remember what it was!

Back to being able to fly. It wouldn't be long before the government stepped in and began to make life difficult. I expect there would be 'no fly zones' created for a start. And flying traffic wardens. The skies would be horribly crowded too, and people crashing into each other. Be ever so difficult to keep an eye on the kids wouldn't it?

Of course you would have people who wouldn't be satisfied with just being able to fly. Some would want to be able to fly faster than others. You would find people strapping engines to their backs to give themselves an extra bit of speed. And of course their engines would have to look better and fly faster than everyone else. Extremely wealthy people would have extra bodywork built on. Maybe encapsulate themselves entirely so they could keep out the wind and rain. Eventually they wouldn't feel the need to fly at all and would begin to spend more time trundling around on the ground in their fancy machines with wheels. Eventually too, someone would cotton on to this, realise the potential to make loads of money, and begin making  more affordable machines with wheels on for the poorer people. People would be able to give up the rather risky business of flying about in the overcrowded skies altogether.

Hey! Maybe that's what happened? Maybe we could all fly once, and then some bright spark invented the internal combustion engine? It all begins to make sense now. Well it does to me, but then I think I might be a bit crazy.


  1. I find the concept of wings and flying very appealing (as a former flight attendant I LOVE flying); however, it's not good to copy Icarus.

  2. I think the ability to fly would be a wonderful thing. I often watch hawks and eagles with awe and envy. They flap those powerful wings until they catch an air draft. Then they just float along on that draft letting it carry them through the air until it is gone. Then they find another one and repeat. It looks like such freedom.

  3. Wings would doubtless be wonderful, and flight would be liberating. I wish even, sometimes, that we had never descended from the trees as a species. But I suppose civilization has necessarily grounded us and I should see about having my tail bobbed.

  4. Be careful talking about those bingo wings! You might just get punched.

  5. John, I wonder if so called flights of fancy would qualify as flying, although not so much in a physical sense.