Sunday, 24 March 2013

It All Happens At The Local Launderette.

Let me set the scene for you if I may. There was some years ago an advert for Levi jeans on the television. It was a popular ad, mainly I suppose because it featured a handsome young man undressing in the launderette and putting his clothes into a washing machine. Women liked the ad a lot, and some men too I suppose. Not me though, I mean if I want to look at a great body all I have to do is use the full length mirror in my bedroom.

Anyway, Saturday morning I'm sitting in the launderette watching my collection of posing pouches going through the rinse cycle, and to be honest I was thoroughly bored.

Thinking to while away a few minutes I sent a text message to Sam. 'Sam', I said in the text, 'I am so bloody bored sitting here watching my washing going round and round.' xx

Actually it took me more than a few minutes to write the text, because this touch screen smart (arse) phone never writes the correct letter first time and drives me crazy. It seems to particularly really enjoy putting a P when what I want to put is an O. Yeah I know it is because they are near each other on the keyboard, but there is no need for it, my fingers are not that fat that the keyboard doesn't know what I mean. In fact nothing is fat about me. I am slim and athletic. That Levi jeans bloke pales into insignificance compared to me. However that is by the by. I hate to talk about how perfect I am, as you know.

Where was I? Oh yes. Texting. Sam sent me an amusing reply. It said: 'Take ur clothes off n bung em in with the wash, that should liven the place up' ;) xx. This was in reference of course to the aforementioned advert.

You will not believe this next bit. Just as I had finished reading the text, A couple came into the launderette, and honest, you couldn't make it up, the man started to get undressed! I couldn't believe it myself, I had just that second read her text message. The shock was so great that I couldn't stop myself from laughing out loud.

Of course I then had to tell them why I was laughing and even showed them the text message. I was a bit worried because the bloke was a big man. Not too worried though, after all I am tough enough to take on any man however big he is. I've got a black belt in Origami and Macrami. Nobody messes with me and gets away with it. Nobody!

But not to worry, because they saw the funny side of it too, and we had a good laugh about it.

Sadly I was not able to work out in time how to use the camera which is attached to my new smart (arse) phone and so missed the chance to take a photo of the event. Bloody smart phones!

After a while I plucked up the courage to ask if he would mind re-enacting what had happened, and they agreed. The lady, Diane was her name, even showed me a quick way to use the camera (I've already forgotten sadly) and the man, his name was Tom, began to undress.

I ought to point out that he didn't take all his clothes off at any time. In fact it turned out that he had  just decided on the spur of the moment to wash the shirt he was wearing. Makes sense to me.

How nice to meet you Tom and Diane. Thanks for joining in with the fun. You sure did cheer up this bored old git!

Here are some pics, just in case you think I made this story up. I wouldn't blame you if you did.

Thanks for being such a good sport Tom.
Oh no! D'you see that box of Daz washing powder? That's mine. I forgot all about it in the excitement and left it there. Nearly a full box too. Never mind. Mustn't let that spoil a nice memory. Bloody hell! Do you know how much washing powder costs?

Here, you don't think the whole thing was a plot to steal my washing powder do you?


  1. Posing one machine, surely John, the size of them would require the use of two machines!
    Jane x

  2. I dunno, John. He looks pretty formidible. Maybe you should augment your martial arts training with a bit of feng shui.

  3. I sort of thought that both Tom and Diane stripped down because of an unfortunate situation. It is funny how strange things happen when you are joking about the strange thing happening.

  4. What a laugh! My imagination ran riot until I saw the pictures.

  5. Thanks for my laugh for today.
    John, however do you get yourself involved in this kind of're a riot.
    Diane and Tom were good sports.

  6. I was imagining Tom to be a young'n but he wasn't. There ya go, just proves that older people do know how to have fun too. I loved that story. I'm still getting the hang of my smart arse phone as well.

  7. You can make the best stories out of the most mundane tasks.

  8. What happened to the following photos! Shame about the powder! Would annoy the heck out of me but at least you did get some entertainment! Look forward to proposed challenge next year to the beach. I will need to get into some serious training before then if I'm to have any chance against such a physical specimen as yourself.

  9. Brilliant John - it made our day too. Tom now waiting for phone call from Levi or Daz!!!! I've told him not to hold his breath and not to give up the day job at Butlins just yet.

  10. Awesome story, John. Loved it and your sense of humor too. I might have to start hanging out at the laundromats. Take care.

  11. Haha- clearly you haven't done your laundry with any real backpackers. They either wear their pjs or their poncho to the laundromat, put absolutely everything else they have with them in the machines and hope they don't need to go anywhere else til it's done.

  12. I live a few doors away from a launderette and Darrell the owner comes in for a cup of tea and relays all the local news and gossip. A couple of weeks ago he was burgled (daz sniffers I recon) and he has got them on video running up and down in blind panic when the door the entered by slams and the discover it has no handle on the insideand the alarm went off. You would have smiled as they chucked chairs at the reinforced class doors and they bounced off. It was all captured on CCTV and I hope he sends it to MR T's fools on camera. When I was a lad I used to get the launderette run and have many memories stuck in their with Old ladies taking pity on me and folding sheets for me and turning pillow cases the right way out.. Never had any fit birds strip off and wash there shirts or any fella come to that.