The Woman In The Hat.

My interest in dating sites ended quite some time ago. Some of you might remember me talking about my decision not to keep going with them. This thoroughly unselfish action of mine, was based entirely on my reluctance to cause any jealousy among the many women who were so desperate to date me.

It may have been cruel of me to destroy the hopes and aspirations of those discerning ladies, but I sincerely thought it was for the best.

With all that in mind, it was such a surprise when I received an email yesterday from one of the dating sites, telling me that a woman was keen to meet me.

There was a photo of the lady in question. She looked quite attractive, but it was only a head shot, so I did not have much to go on. Was she fat? Thin? Tall? Short? Curvaceous?

Not that I would ever judge a woman on her looks of course. That would be wrong. No way would I be that shallow. Who me? No never! That is definitely not the kind of male chauvinistic thing I would ever dream of doing. As long as she is truly beautiful to look at, and has the type of figure, to drive men crazy, she will do for me.

Although one does have standards. She would need to be generously wealthy. I like to buy my women nice gifts.

Not that any of this matters. As I say, I have given up on dating sites. The lonely ladies will just have to dream on. The email has been deleted.

Matisse: Woman in a hat.

The woman in the photo, was wearing a hat. The hat has intrigued me. Played on my mind a bit. I heard myself humming a tune. What is that tune? Suddenly it came to me. I realised the song was called, 'You can leave your hat on'. Joe Cocker sang it, and Tom Jones I think

I'm not too sure what the song is getting at, but it sounds a bit naughty. No, worse than that, it sounds raunchy. Probably because it is. My fertile imagination went into overdrive as I recalled some of the lyrics.

                   Baby take off your coat,
                   Real slow,
                   Take off your shoes,
                   Baby take off your dress,
                   Yes, yes, yes,
                   You can leave your hat on.
                   Baby stand on that chair,
                   Raise your arms in the air,
                   Now shake 'em,
                   You can leave your hat on.

Yes it's a sweet little number. Nothing sexist about it at all. A bit like me really.

Why did I delete that email? I should have agreed to meet her. I bet she was really interesting.

It wasn't a very big hat, but it looked classy. I liked it. I wouldn't have had a problem with it at all.

She could have left it on.