Sunday, 6 November 2011

Dating. I Nearly Did It Again. Somebody Help. Please!

Phew! What a piece of luck that was. I almost had a date tonight. With a woman! Luckily the event I had invited her to was cancelled at the last minute. I sent her a text explaining the situation, and expressing my deep regret, that she would not now be able to spend precious hours in my company.

Oh the cheek of that woman! She texted back, and do you know what she said? No of course you don't. How would you know? You weren't privy to any information until just now. She said, she said, and this is quite unbelievable, she said, and I kid you not dear readers, she said; she had FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT IT! Yes I know. I was furious! To be honest with you, I still am. In fact I am so furious, that I can't even be bothered to find out if that semi colon after the last she said, is in the right place, or if my pretentious attempt at trying to look as though I know anything about punctuation, has come back to haunt me. I just don't care!

The most infuriating thing about the situation, apart from the fact that I actually asked her in the first place, is that the ten extremely painful minutes I spent plucking hairs from my nostrils and ears have been wasted. Not to mention the time spent searching though the laundry bin for a pair of not too dirty socks. I had even contemplated spending £10 on having my haircut. £10! I could live on that for a month! Thank goodness I only contemplated it!

I won't ask her out again. No. She has blown her chance with me. That is it! Finished! Gone! In a strange sort of way I even feel a huge sadness overcoming me, as I think about what she has missed out on. There are so many ways she could have benefited from being in my company. So many ways. The list is endless. For a start she has missed out on......  she has missed out on......  Look here, I'm too upset to think of anything at the moment. I don't want to talk about it any more. What's the point? She forgot anyway.

Not to worry, you know me, I'll soon bounce back. Already I'm beginning to see the positives. There is the £10 I saved on not having my haircut. There is the money I would have spent on getting her drunk, er, I mean buying her a drink. Fuel is expensive these days, I've saved money there. Then there is the saving on men's toiletries. My new cologne might not be the most expensive, but at least none was wasted tonight. I'd have had to have a shower. Hot water costs money, not to mention soap. Although I would probably have stolen some of my extremely handsome son George's shower gel. So all in all, when looked at in a positive way I have come out of the situation rather well. Apart from the loss of a few nasal and ear hairs, which I didn't want any way. So yah boo sucks to her!

That's all I have to say on the matter. Except if there is any among you, who is able to proffer any advice, or offer counselling, as to how I can stop myself from asking women out on dates, please let me know.

Another lucky escape I know, but I cannot keep riding my luck like this. I definitely need help!

She forgot! She actually forgot! Unbelievable!

I'm not bothered. I'm not bothered, at all!


  1. Definitely her loss. A lucky escape really. It would have only ended in tears anyway. Trust me I know about these things.

  2. Methinks he doth protest too much...onwards and better luck next time, if you make it soon you won't have to wrestle with the nasal hairs again because they won't have had time to grow back.

  3. Wearing a gag usually prevents speech. Try it next time you see a woman you fancy enough to ask out. In the meantime remember this.... not all women are the same.

  4. You know you are going to ask someone again. Try a courtesy call a day before the event. Let her know you are looking forward to seeing her and that what ever event should be enjoyable for both of you. Then she cannot claim to not remember. Perhaps she was sitting there all dolled up waiting for you and her poor choice of words were an attempt to protect her own feelings. Put on her high heels for a moment. What would you have said?

  5. I think that in the future before asking anyone on a date you should do a little interview with them first. Find out if they own a calendar and if they use it to mark important dates on it.

  6. She didnt forget. I feel sure she just said that because she thought you were just dropping her at the last minute. You should perhaps have offered an alternative. There is a lot of 'game playing' in the whole dating thing and thats why I cant be bothered. Cheer up there are plenty more fish in the sea and at least the 'bait' hasn't got hairy earholes now.
    Re shower gel, I am using Sainsbury Basics baby bath as shower gel and its very nice. Only 11p a bottle.

    Cheers, EileenM

  7. I think she messed up very badly. Instead of forgetting about it, she should have begged you to take her out another time. Then she could have had the joy of seeing you all fixed up. Oh well, I think you're better off this way.

  8. Perhaps she is not very good with words and do not know how to give you an appropriate answer since you mentioned that the event was cancelled last minute, not knowing if it is true or you are just trying to come up with an excuse. Maybe better luck next time, there will always be a next time

  9. Hello! Stopping by for the first time from Ann and Duke's place. I have enjoyed perusing several of your posts. I liked this one too, not because of the situation but for your outlook and those of the folks that commented.

    Nice to meet you!
    Kindly, Lorraine