Wednesday, 14 September 2011

Pervert. Surely A Word To Look Up.

How many perverts do you know? I only ask because I keep reading or hearing about perverts on the news, so I do know that there are a lot of them about. The thing is though that I haven't met any recently. Not that they are going to tell me if they are.
The thing is, does a pervert know whether he, lets not be sexist here, or she, is actually a pervert? Silly question really. I mean if someone sneaks around at night stealing ladies underwear off of washing lines, I suppose he must occasionally think to himself that his hobby is a bit odd.
What about shoes? I read about a man who stole shoes, just so he could sniff them. Apparently he had a particular penchant for really smelly trainers. I wonder if he ever thinks that he is a pervert?
Just to even things up I am trying to think of something a woman would do that might be considered perverted, but I am struggling to think of anything. There must be something...? No, can't think of anything. I know that woman get involved in perversions but I can't think of anything along the lines of what might be described as a minor perversion. Oh! I just thought of something. No really, you don't want me to mention it. Oh all right, it was domination I thought of. It doesn't do anything for me though. Honest! Seriously it doesn't! Really, I'm not kidding here! It's not something that rocks my boat! I swear it! Look I'm going to stop protesting, just in case you think I doth protest too much.
Some perverts form groups. How do they get to hear about each other? I mean if you are a pervert, it is not something you would wish to be generally known. So how do you meet someone who shares the same weird desires that you do? Oh hang on a second, I just realised that a weird desire is not necessarily a perversion is it?
In fact what is a pervert? Well I can answer that, because I have a dictionary right beside me. To pervert means to change the form or meaning of something in a way that distorts it. Or lead someone away from doing what is right, natural, or acceptable. Or a person whose sexual behaviour is abnormal or unacceptable. That last bit, that's what I'm getting at. Most people think that perversion is to do with sex.
Now then you may be wondering what I'm doing going on about perverts. Well the thing is I have a little tale to tell about a pervert, and to be perfectly honest with you, I have been wondering how to lead into it. This is my rather long winded answer. Should be alright now though.
Oh yes, this is a true story, and before I tell it, I ought to admit that I found it quite amusing, and so did the woman who related it to me, and she was actually involved in the incident, which happened a long time ago.

One day a group of girls were leaving school, after having finished lessons for the day. As they passed through the school gates they saw a man with his coat open. He was exposing himself and masturbating vigorously. On seeing this the girls all screamed and ran away. Except for one girl, who stood and watched the man for a while, before casually walking off. When she eventually caught up with her friends, they asked her why she did not run away from the pervert.
"Pervert" she said, sounding puzzled, "I thought he was sharpening a pencil!"


  1. That is a funny story. Over the course of time I have had my unfair share of contact with perverts. I seem to attract strange people. When I was in college there was a sociology class in alternative life styles. Someone said I should sign up for it with them. I looked at what the class was about and I opted out. It seems that each week the whole class would visit a different group of people. One week it might be wife-swappers, another week perhaps a gay bar, then a biker club, etc. I know me. I would have started to laugh when someone decided to act ridiculous (and I don't mean that any of these people are necessarily ridiculous, just that when people have an audience they tend to exaggerate things). Laughing at some people tends to make them want to hurt me. I could have ruined the curriculum for the whole school. It's good to read a post from you.

  2. Funny post, good to see you back to writing. I think that perverts wouldn't call themselves perverts. Maybe they think everyone else is because they don't do the perverted things they do. Now how am I going to sleep tonight, wondering if I'M a pervert or not?

  3. Unfortunately there are too any perverts in the world. I managed to attract quite a few as a teenager. You may never have met one because you are a male.I wrote about one incident on this post:

  4. Hahahahaha perhaps the undersized man was trying to make it grow....

    I may have to rethink a post idea, or maybe not. Good to see you again.

  5. Welcome back, missed your acerbic wit (not sure if there should be as s in that ..and I'm too lazy to look it up!).
    I went to an all girls grammar school. The school attracted flashers.During one lesson, the teacher screeched "girls, girls, there is a flasher outside". We all ran to the windows...saw nothing. a) Why did the teacher tell us? b) why was she shocked when we all ran to the windows?
    Jane x

  6. lol @ Jane. And an amusing post as usual. I think we should all be a bit more careful throwing around the word pervert though, since it has such a negative connotation to it. Having a "weird" or "unusual" desire doesn't in itself necessarily make someone a bad person, so we shouldn't imply such. Flashers are creeps all around, but that's an extreme example.

  7. I wonder if he had lead in his pencil? Haha!

    Mmmm...I remember running into one when I was about 12, on my way to the public swimming pools. He was doing the same thing as I walked between two buildings....I just kept walking like I hadn't seen a thing.
    Later in life it happened to me again...this time I stopped...looked him in the face and remarked 'dildo' then turned on my heels and walked away.


  8. Hi John, glad to find you back writing cause I did miss your posts. This was a long discourse on perversion. Good for you to note that it does not confine itself to sexual matters. The story was amusing.

  9. I would have to agree with kden. I'm thinking that most perverts think they are normal and it's the rest of us that are messed up.
    Glad to see you back

  10. You really went around the barn to get to your elbow there! I've known a few women who liked to flaunt a few more things that I thought was necessary... perversion? Nowadays, if a girl wears pasties and a G-string she's considered covered... not sure about that myself.