How many perverts do you know? I only ask because I keep reading or hearing about perverts on the news, so I do know that there are a lot of them about. The thing is though that I haven't met any recently. Not that they are going to tell me if they are.
The thing is, does a pervert know whether he, lets not be sexist here, or she, is actually a pervert? Silly question really. I mean if someone sneaks around at night stealing ladies underwear off of washing lines, I suppose he must occasionally think to himself that his hobby is a bit odd.
What about shoes? I read about a man who stole shoes, just so he could sniff them. Apparently he had a particular penchant for really smelly trainers. I wonder if he ever thinks that he is a pervert?
Just to even things up I am trying to think of something a woman would do that might be considered perverted, but I am struggling to think of anything. There must be something...? No, can't think of anything. I know that woman get involved in perversions but I can't think of anything along the lines of what might be described as a minor perversion. Oh! I just thought of something. No really, you don't want me to mention it. Oh all right, it was domination I thought of. It doesn't do anything for me though. Honest! Seriously it doesn't! Really, I'm not kidding here! It's not something that rocks my boat! I swear it! Look I'm going to stop protesting, just in case you think I doth protest too much.
In fact what is a pervert? Well I can answer that, because I have a dictionary right beside me. To pervert means to change the form or meaning of something in a way that distorts it. Or lead someone away from doing what is right, natural, or acceptable. Or a person whose sexual behaviour is abnormal or unacceptable. That last bit, that's what I'm getting at. Most people think that perversion is to do with sex.
Now then you may be wondering what I'm doing going on about perverts. Well the thing is I have a little tale to tell about a pervert, and to be perfectly honest with you, I have been wondering how to lead into it. This is my rather long winded answer. Should be alright now though.
Oh yes, this is a true story, and before I tell it, I ought to admit that I found it quite amusing, and so did the woman who related it to me, and she was actually involved in the incident, which happened a long time ago.
One day a group of girls were leaving school, after having finished lessons for the day. As they passed through the school gates they saw a man with his coat open. He was exposing himself and masturbating vigorously. On seeing this the girls all screamed and ran away. Except for one girl, who stood and watched the man for a while, before casually walking off. When she eventually caught up with her friends, they asked her why she did not run away from the pervert.
"Pervert" she said, sounding puzzled, "I thought he was sharpening a pencil!"