Friday, 22 July 2011

A Few Head Banging Erection Problems.

Last night I went to an open mic night for the first time in three weeks. The thing is, they, the ladies that is, have been missing me. Pining actually. I felt that it would be wrong to deprive them any longer. So, despite the fact that I am having difficulty staying erect, hey stop that! I mean upright. Oh dear! Just as bad. Anyway I fall over a lot at the moment. No, it has nothing to do with alcohol, it's because of this labrynthitis thing. Anyway, I went along and sang a few sexy love songs for them.
They all went home happy at the end of the evening, so obviously my charms are still working. The husbands were happy too, pleased that I had got their wives in the mood for love. They all thought they were on a promise. I like to think that I am doing my bit for mankind. Helping my species to survive. I am truly altruistic.

So it was a late night. It was also an early morning. I had to be up early so that I could go to the house and wake my extremely handsome Son George up for work. His Mum was away overnight and thought he wouldn't get up in time, so I was designated. He was up and about when I got there. Oh ye of little faith. He loves working in the woods. Of course he was up. I have no idea why I'm telling you this bit. Rambling again.
The dizzy spells came back with a vengeance today, just as I was trying to solve my television reception problems. My thought was that the aerial needed to be higher. So I have tied the existing pole to a long hazel branch, which in turn is tied to a post which is in turn nailed to the shed. As erections go it is not very strong. Hey! Stop that. But it is very high now, about thirty feet, and my reception is better. Of course it will probably snap off next time the wind blows. Unfortunately all that difficulty in getting it up. Hey! Stop that. Keeping it up. Hey! Stop that. Looking up, and pole balancing made me very dizzy indeed. Feeling a bit worried, I made an emergency appointment with the Doctor.
After chatting with him for a while, he managed to convince me that I am not going to have a heart attack. He thinks that I might have been standing too close to the loudspeakers at the open mic night. He thinks this, because I told him that is what I did. Self diagnosis really. It's just a theory I came up with, because I have been standing too close to the loudspeakers.
He now thinks that there is a piece of loose debris in my ear. Not half a brick or anything like that. Just bodily detritus which we all have apparently. Oddly enough, bizarrely even, he has referred me to a physiotherapist. She is going to jerk my head about in an effort to dislodge the debris. I'm not making this up! It is a tried and tested method which has good results.
Someone has to come with me to ensure I get home safely. It seems that all the head shaking can leave you feeling a bit disorientated. Ha! Never did me any harm in my punk rocker days. I always managed to get home then. Oh really, what am I saying?
He also gave me some more tablets. They're a bit stronger than the last ones. I see the physio next week. Should be interesting.

Despite my spinning head, I managed to mow the paddock when I got home. Yes I know it was silly, but it needed doing badly. No, not badly. It needed doing goodly. Oh blast it, lets just say it needed doing. It looks much nicer with the grass cut.
I took one of the new stronger tablets at 3 o'clock. I woke up in my armchair at 7 o'clock. Four hours zonked out, and very dizzy. I won't be taking anymore of those!
That's the story of my last twenty four hours. I couldn't get my head cleared enough to think what else to write about, and I hate letting you down.
Especially the ladies.

N.B. I have a few more followers. I want to thank you. It means a lot. You are all important to me. All you dear readers. Don't you forget it. Cheers.


  1. An "antenna booster" really does help my TV reception.
    Sorry you haven't recovered from your dizzy spells. Hope the new therapist helps!

  2. Your extremely handsome son George looks a lot like the picture of you in you sailor's uniform. Hopefully he inherited your sense of humor too. You are totally incorrigible, you know. I had the same physiotherapy after a car accident I was in last year. My therapist was very gentle because he said the detritus needs to settle and violent movement is what caused it. I miss the 3 times a week massage but I don't miss the chore of going in for it. You will enjoy it.

  3. Looking up does it for me too. I did have some neck work done but the dizziness came on after that. I did mention it to the doc but he said so long as the dizziness goes away he won't do anything about it. So now I try to control the head movements... sometimes a difficult thing to do. Hope you have a great weekend.

  4. oh you have me in stitches this morning with your charming wit.
    I forgot to mention yesterday that I like the new header picture.

  5. Yep, the dizzy head thing is annoying and makes you feel sick too. I get it on and off. The doc said the same thing. Crystals/debri in the wrong place. he gave me exercises to move the stuff back to where it belongs. Surprise surprise it worked.

  6. This post is so funny, but your dizziness is not! Get well soon!

  7. You are being very funny, but a little naughty. Hope you get the problem solved soon- the dizziness.

  8. Ever since my first Vertigo episode several years ago I have not been able to look up. I've heard of that treatment, that it's worse than the symptoms, but it seems to work.

  9. I can understand why the ladies would pine for you - you seem such a lovely man (now just don't let it go to your head, right?)

    I'm glad you don't have half a brick in your ear as that would mean you'd have very large ears, which could have an effect on the ladies pining for you. Hope you get the dizziness sorted, though x