JB’s Vauxhall Astra update. Number 28a (not sure).
Well, blow me down wiv a fevver! Turns out the leisure battery my son-in law Lee er… Nigel gave me last week was a dud. Never held a charge. Useless! It turns out it wasn’t even a leisure battery. He let me down badly. Built me up and knocked me down. I am seriously considering whether he is the right man to be married to my daughter. I expected better. His real name is Lee. There I have said it. Serves him right! Enough of all the secrecy and not wanting his real name mentioned. Who does he think he is James bleedin’ Bond?
But what is this? Hold the front page! My friend Bill saw about the leisure battery on Facebook. He says he has got a leisure battery. He says I can have it. Free!
I have this little saying, ‘the Lord will provide’ I swear by it and I ain’t even religious. But, thank you baby Jesus for providing me with a leisure battery. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Amen. Oh, and thank you to Bill too, for thinking of me. You are an absolute star! A true friend! A Welsh wonder! Such a handsome man too. I love you. No not love, that’s going too far. Sorry. I got carried away there for a minute. By the way his real name is Ian, but he wants to remain anonymous.
Ian…er Bill has given me a tent. Free! A two man tent he called it. I thought it might come in handy for when I use a proper campsite occasionally. Two-man tent!? You could hold a banquet in it! It is amazing! What a clever design it is. I easily erected it on my own. In the rain. In a howling gale!