Monday, 10 November 2014

On The Off Chance.

I am getting a bit fed up with being on my own so I have decided to market myself to women worldwide.

There must be someone out there who is as desperate as me! This is the advert I intend to use. I would appreciate any thoughts and/or advice you might have regarding it. Thank you.


I am an old, short, fattish, flatulent, balding, Viagra and indigestion tablet dependent gentleman of extremely limited means and no hope. My interests are, not eating out and not going to the theatre.
My hobbies include, looking for my glasses and trying to remember if I have taken my tablets. I would like to meet a woman preferably, but am prepared to try anything once, or should that be again? Please send in the first instance, some nude photos taken from unusual angles. Own house and nice car. Not me, you. Sorry, I am unable to return photos.


  1. That is one very attractive offer. I cannot wait to see which of the thousands of women (or anything else) you choose. I hope you will be generous with your selection process as well.

  2. You should have no trouble whatsoever in attracting the mate of your dreams.... or should that be your nightmares?

  3. I believe your list of hobbies and interests will attract partners who value calm and unhurried lives. You should mention your interest in painting and music.

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  5. You sound like the perfect match............ha ha ha...

  6. I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don’t know how to cook or clean, don’t want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?

    American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.

    This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.


  7. Honest and to the point... women like honesty and I'm sure some nice honest ladies will jump at your advert.

  8. Good luck John, I'm sure there is a woman out there for you, who like yourself, is looking for someone to share her life with! I would say more, but your visitor comment (the asshole above Virginia C.) pissed me off too much... ya know, since I am an AMERICAN WOMAN!!

    1. Hi Wanda. I didn't realise the misogynists comment was there. When it came on my email I presumed it was spam. I shall leave it on so that everyone can see that the writer is, as you say an asshole, or as I would say an arsehole. I feel very sorry for any woman of whatever nationality he should meet.
      Sorry he pissed you off.
      Just to say I love American women. This blog would be only half a blog without them.
      Love from John x