Monday, 26 September 2016

The Plastic Carrier Bag.

What I do now is, I er.. I hang a er.. I hang a plastic carrier bag on the cupboard under the sink. One of those you get in the supermarket. The carrier bag I mean, not the sink. I don’t hang a sink on the cupboard under the sink. That would be stupid. Or a cupboard come to that. Let’s get this right. What I do is, I hang a plastic carrier bag on the handle of the cupboard door. The handle on the door of the cupboard under the sink.

When I say hang that’s not strictly true. I attach a plastic carrier bag to the door handle. The thing is you see the plastic carrier bags are really lightweight and they don’t have the ability to hang. Not until they have something inside them then they hang but by the time that happens I have already attached it. So yes, attached it is then.

It’s to put kitchen rubbish in. The plastic carrier bag. Scraps and suchlike. Saves having to spend money on rubbish bags. No, not scraps. Scraps go to the chickens usually. Unless it’s something I think Mia the German Shepherd would like. In which case she gets it and the chickens miss out. Sad for the chickens but well, you know, that’s life. I wonder when a chicken becomes a hen? Always puzzled me that. No, not always. Just now I meant. It has just puzzled me. This instant. I mean that instant. The instant just passed an instant ago. Or was it a moment? A moment ago. Well, a few moments ago actually.

Other kitchen stuff like.. Take an apple core for example, or maybe a banana skin? Things like that get put in a plastic container next to the sink and when it gets full up I empty it onto the compost heap. Used tea bags too. They get put in the plastic container. And coffee grounds they would go in there. But I don’t have coffee grounds so.. Anyway, I would probably use instant coffee so it doesn’t apply to me ‘cos instant coffee dissolves completely. No residue.

No, the plastic carrier bag is mainly for wrappers and stuff made of paper or plastic. Used kitchen roll, yes, that’s a good one. Stuff that can’t be re-cycled. That goes in too. Stuff that can be re-cycled gets recycled. Unless the recycling bin is full. In which case I usually think sod it and chuck it in the plastic carrier bag anyway. I do my best for the environment but I’m not a saint.

The thing is the supermarket now charges for the plastic carrier bags. It's a new law. I wasn't consulted. So the saving money by using them for rubbish doesn’t work anymore. I mean, I may as well buy proper plastic rubbish bags. It’s a hell of a dilemma. I just don’t know what to do for the best.

Anyway, I don’t want to bother you with it. I know you worry, but please don’t. You know me, I’m sure to figure something out.


  1. It's a good idea to use the plastic bags for trash. I do the same and then put it into a larger bag for the garbage man. As far as when a chicken becomes a hen; a hen is a mature chicken usually at about the age of one year.

  2. Brilliant John , nice to have a laugh in the morning :) xxx

  3. Very amusing, John, as always. Only you can write with such wit. However, I have to comment on my own recycling system. I do as Emma does. In fact, I am very organised. Somehow I seem to acquire plastic bags without ever having to pay for them. I have loads and all are used for the purpose of dumping kitchen scraps etc. However, I am horrified to hear you don't include paper and plastic in your recycling plan.