Published. Elbows Off The Table.

'Elbows Off The Table'
By John Kennedy Bain

I have done it! I am an author! My book is published on Amazon Kindle and is available in the Kindle store, wherever that is. Unfortunately I seem to have made the title page a bit skewed, but everything else seems to be fine.

I haven't got a Kindle so I can't read it myself, but that's OK 'cos I know what's in it. But perhaps there are other ways and places to read it?

On a serious note I must warn you that this book about my childhood contains descriptions of child abuse that some will find upsetting. And the language! Oh dear! This little book is not for the faint hearted.

However I have I think also managed to inject some humour into it. This might sound strange but it is now more than fifty years after the events depicted, and I think it is my sense of humour that has mostly helped me through. I realised whilst writing that I have used humour as a healing balm for most of my life.

I have made a small change to the author's name (that's me) since I published this. I have added the name Kennedy in memory of my Mother. Despite everything, I did love her. None of us is perfect.

My Song For Sadie The German Shepherd.

Thank you for your kind and supportive comments about Sadie the German Shepherd. I cannot even begin to explain how much they mean to me.

It is always sad to lose a beloved pet, but although I am an emotional kind of man, I cannot remember the hurt being this bad before. Maybe it is simply what happens as we grow older. Or could it be that we spent so much of our time together?

Sadie the German Shepherd was without doubt the kindest, most gentle and patient dog I have ever had the privilege to share my life with.

Here is a song I have written in her sweet memory. I managed to hold it together until just before the end of the song when there is a bit of an emotional wobble.

There is a reason why I share this sad song with you but I cannot formulate the words as to what that reason is. Something to do with music as therapeutic and the purpose of all art is surely to provoke a response of some sort.

Goodbye My Dear Friend.

Faithful friend. Loyal companion.
                  
Brave protector. Confidante.

                               R I P

Sadie The German Shepherd  18-10-2013
                       

Update On Sadie The German Shepherd.

Sadie had her procedure under a local anaesthetic, to drain all the fluid away from her tummy yesterday. They were able to use a local anaesthetic because she is such a gentle easy going old thing.

Unbelievably they drained almost a gallon from her before they had to stop as she was getting very uncomfortable. Her tummy is still swollen despite the amount taken away.

The diagnosis at the moment is that the problem is with her heart. She is a very old girl now. Walking any distance is a problem for her. I am making her a little cart that she can get into if she gets tired on a walk.

She is on a course of diuretic tablets. She has another appointment at the vet on Friday.

She ate half of her dinner last night and was very defensive of the bone Tricia gave her when the cat got too close to it, so she still has some spirit in her.

She is up and about this morning. We might take a little stroll later and see how she gets on.

Thank you all for the good wishes. It means a lot to know you care. I am sorry for not updating earlier but last night I was feeling rather tired myself.

Sadie The German Shepherd Is Unwell.

My lovely friend and loyal companion, Sadie the German Shepherd is very unwell. Today our usual walk across the fields to the village shop came to an abrupt halt after just a couple of hundred yards when she suddenly collapsed to the ground unable to carry on.
Although she still got excited at the prospect of a walk, this last week she has just got slower and slower, but I put this down to her old age. These slow walks suited me too because I am having trouble with walking myself. In my case claudication, or as it is usually known, hardening of the arteries. This was diagnosed in me two years ago, but walking with Sadie has helped me keep it at bay. However until today we both still managed to do a couple of miles a day.
After a bit of gentle persuasion I managed to get her home again, but those few hundred yards took us about an hour.
Sod's law managed to find that my vehicle is off the road at the moment, but my good neighbour Steve came to our rescue and took Sadie and me to the vet.

Just a few weeks ago Sadie the German Shepherd was in rude good health.

Sadie's tummy is swollen and hard. The vet says it is caused by fluid. He drained some off and there was blood in it. It is being sent for tests. He suspects a tumour. Tomorrow Sadie is having a three or four hour 'procedure' to drain her tummy of this fluid and then the vet will be better able to see what's what.
She has been prescribed diuretic tablets in the meantime. This will hopefully make her feel more comfortable tonight. She hasn't eaten all of her dinner these last few days and tonight she has left some in her dish, but at least she is still eating.
As I write she is asleep and snoring gently in her bed. I take this as a good sign, At least she isn't in pain.
I will keep you informed about her condition.

Me And That Best Selling Book Of Mine.

Here is a bit of an update about my attempt to self publish my book as a kindle thingymajig. I have tried several times and I have on occasion managed, not without some difficulty I must say, to get past the signing in stage. But that's when it all goes pear shaped because nothing seems to progress from there. Although I did manage to fill in my income tax details today (yes they want all that).

Today's problems began when they asked for my bank details. They need somewhere to deposit my royalties apparently. First they need my IBAN. This is an international bank account number. I have never heard of this so have no idea what to do. There are numbers associated with my bank account but nothing resembling this. Then they require my BIC. This is the bank identifying code. I have no idea what this is either. I am able to identify my bank because I sometimes see it when I walk down the high street in town. I never realised it needed an identifying code. I have always thought it's address would be a good way of telling where it is.

I get so frustrated with the whole flipping rigmarole that I tend to give up and tell myself I shall try again later. Sadly later could turn out to be weeks or even month's away.

So there you have it. I have not even had so much as a sniff of getting my best selling book published. I need help that's for sure, but I suspect that asking one of these self publishing firms to help me would be very expensive and I ain't got no money.

This book 'Elbows Off The Table' does exist I promise you. It is written, I have a printed out manuscript, and it has been proof read several times, and it is also saved on a memory stick.

Are you sure you want to read it? You might be offended by some of the graphic content, not to mention the bad language, enough to make a sailor blush it is. Blimey, and it only details the first twelve years of my life!

Anyway that's what's been happening with my book. Perhaps I shall have another go tomorrow. However even if I do, I know it is highly unlikely that I will get any further along with it.

Oh I almost forgot to mention that the book needs to be formatted. Just the very word fills me with trepidation.

Just At The Moment.

Sadie the German Shepherd was there as usual, waiting at the gate for me. Bonnie the Ginger Cat was there too as she occasionally is. Not waiting for me though, she simply enjoys Sadie's company. The hen's were by the gate also, scratching away at the ground, searching for morsels.

I hadn't been away long, perhaps half an hour. I had been picking up a bag of layers pellets for the hens from the local feedstuff's store.

As I opened the gate and walked up the drive, the dog and cat beside me and the hen's fluttering and excited before us, it suddenly occurred to me just how lucky I am to be living this simple life.

It had been a dream of mine for years, this alternative way. This is almost the way I imagined it. I don't really want for anything. Having loads of 'things' has never interested me much. Maybe I could get a little bit excited about a big new shed, and I will admit to a love of Jaguar cars, but I can manage without these things.

Of course I have had this feeling of contentment before but just felt it more profoundly today for some reason. It has a way of disappearing just as quickly as it arrives too, so has to be savoured.

I hope you have contentment in your life too. If you don't I hope you find it soon, and please forgive me these few moments of sharing mine.