Tuesday, 29 March 2011

A collared dove, lost love and an early morning riser.

I was awoken early this morning by the sound of a collared dove cooing to the world that his loved one had been taken in the night by a cat. Well I'm guessing that was what all the cooing was about, because a quick glance out of the window as I made my ritual early morning dash to the bathroom showed me that he was all on his own.  No sign of his wife at all. To be honest I don't know if it was the boy or the girl dove that had been taken. They both look identical to me.  Maybe they were both boys. A couple of gay doves. Or  both girls. Lesbian doves.  I'll stop there I think. I have no wish to be accused of being  judgemental.  If  I'm going to be totally honest in these blogs  (I don't think so) I have to tell you, that I don't even know if it was taken by a cat. Could have been anything,  an Owl for instance or, I'm just trying to think what else could pluck a collared dove from a high tree at night in total darkness. Maybe another Owl. I don't know.  Maybe it didn't get taken at all. Perhaps it just got fed up and pissed off. Probably been planning it for ages and  while its partner was sleeping, sloped off quietly to meet it's lover. It would have had to walk though, for fear that the sound of it's flapping wings would wake the other one up. Well anyway the upshot was, that the betrayed partner was very upset and the bloody thing woke me up with its cooing. So I shot it!  Thereby putting us both out of our misery. Those last two sentences are a total fabrication. This little patch of mine is a wildlife sanctuary and no animals were hurt during the making of this whole paragraph. But if it does it again tomorrow morning...


Whilst I'm on the subject of early morning rising, my cock has been causing me a few problems in the mornings as well. Its been an ongoing problem for some time now. It's quite a big old thing and can be a flipping nuisance. Especially when it crows right outside my bedroom window. I really like my old cock though and wouldn't want to be without it. I just hope the neighbours don't complain thats all. It can't help it. It's just doing what nature intended. It has always had a mind of its own. I call him "Wing Commander". I call him that because he's got wings and he is quite a commanding character. Also because that's his name.


Right. Well that's it then. I'm off to bed. It's been a long day. Oh, and just before I go. Anything you might have read into the last paragraph is no fault of mine. It's your mind! Good night.

1 comment:

  1. Holy shit, it just gets better!

    ReplyDelete